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Part 17
"Look at this. I'm living a luxurious life that you couldn't. You didn't see this kind of *norigae before right?"
I was chatting in my old my bedroom with my sister.
"Yes, that's true."
"I'm sorry that I don't look like a brother. We are like sisters than sister brother."
"Yes, that's true."
"So, how is your lover? No, I should call him brother-in-law now. So, is my brother-in-law doing well?"
She smiled like I've never seen before.
"Yes, he is doing well. He is probably nervous standing outside of this imperial palace."
"Huh? He's here too? Then he let you in by yourself? That fellow?"
I asked with surprised, and she laughed.
"What do you mean? He will get sad if he hears that. He wanted to come in, but he only allowed me in."
"Allowed? Who?"
At the same time when I asked, I thought of him. That sudden realization made me go blank, and my sister had little dark face.
"He said, 'I almost became your husband' to me. I was confused for a while and realized. We were very rude to him. My husband almost faint and so did I."
"..... His Majesty did...?"
"Yes. He came to look for us in this city."
I was surprised hearing what she said.
"You guys were here in this city?"
"Yes. We came to look for you."
I couldn't think straight because of what she said. Look for me?
"I was worrying all this time about our house after I left. My husband secretly hired a person to investigate, but he told us you and mother disappeared. It was not like you were a criminal, so your face wasn't on the poster on the wall as wanted. I was very confused. I didn't think you sent another person instead of me. I had no idea who went instead of me. So I looked for mother. People said mother was leaving the house like running away, so I followed her trace. It turned out she got remarried, but I didn't see you anywhere. So I was thinking maybe you went to the North Empire. The country actually thought they sent me as Princess Sooyoung, and there was no way they found another person in one day to send to North Empire, so I thought about you. That's why we came to this country. But there was no way to send in a person in the palace. My husband tried to find a connection to the palace, and I think that's why he heard about us. He came to us in person and allowed only me to go in. He told me no one knows who you are, so acting too recklessly will be a trouble. That's why I came in through the back gate at night to come inside this small palace. I don't think I can do anything secretly anymore. I can't stand my heart pounding."
She was smiling and joked around, and I smiled slightly. This is it. Telling me to have a walk to the Flower Fence Palace was to send me to my sister. While I was thinking this, my sister grabbed my hand.
"After I thought you went to the North Empire, my heart dropped."
I looked at my sister after she said that. Her eyes were filled with tears again.
"How did you do this kind of thing? Do you know how cold the North Empire is? I wouldn't say this if you are healthy, and you disguised as a woman! I was sick thinking something might have happened to you. I cried a lot too. Thank God that I didn't hear any male concubine died when I came to this city. But I worried a lot because I didn't know how you were doing."
"What are you worrying for? Why did you come back? The weather is this cold. You can't handle cold weather too. Same goes for your husband. If he left with you, then you guys should've lived well. Why did you guys worry about me? You and your husband are so much alike. You guys are too good people."
I scolded her, and she looked little angry.
"Don't say bad things. Who's going to like it if you get hurt for me? Huh?"
"I didn't know things would turn out this way. I started without knowing things would get this complicated."
I smiled, and she sighed.
"It's all my fault."
"Don't say that. If it was you then it will be a big problem. You will cry for your husband and eventually die of sickness."
"Still I don't feel good looking at you like this. A normal male enters the palace and Madame? I can't say a word."
"Sister."
"I thought it was thankful that you are alive. Yes, I still am. I'm thankful that he does stuff for you too. He seems like he treasures you a lot. He was really nice and respectful towards a mere merchant wife, and I knew it was all due to you. He said you were having a hard time here, so I should go and make you feel comfortable."
I couldn't close my mouth because of what my sister said. He told that much?
She read my face and nodded.
"He told me that. Still I don't feel good. You are a man too. It's like you became a concubine of another man. Hearing that you are having a hard time made me feel even worst. Tell me. Is it hard?"
I closed my mouth and turned away. She was looking at me pitifully.
"Tell me. Is it hard? If you want, I was even thinking about leaving this palace with you."
"Sister!"
I got shocked and shouted at her.
"Are you crazy? Going out with who? Do you want to see your husband getting killed? Don't you ever say that kind of thing anymore!"
"Yeho."
"Horrible thing to say! Don't you ever say that again."
I said it sternly, and she stopped for a second and opened her mouth again.
"Don't think about me for now. Think about you."
"....."
"You want to stay as a woman? Don't you want to hold woman also?"
My face became all red because of what she said.
"You learned some bad after you got married."
"I'm really serious, Yeho. Aren't you a man as well?"
I couldn't say anything, and I looked at my sister's eyes. They were worrying about me. Worrying about I might be living pitiful life and just sacrificing myself. I calmed myself down. And I slowly opened my mouth.
"Sister. I held him in my heart."
"...!"
"Don't you think it's funny how a man loves another man?"
"Yeho."
"Actually I'm having a hard time mostly because of that. If I take his side because of my greed... You know how I am right now."
My self-deprecating smile made my sister change her surprised face to sad face.
"You are worrying about him."
"I can't let him have a flaw because of me."
I said it quietly.
"Deceived the Emperor and became a man's concubine. He hid that kind of man and embraced him and made him into a Madame. I'm going to become his biggest imperial wrath. I don't want that."
"Yeho."
"You might say that's not true, but you know that's not true either. After I held him in my heart, everything became very hard. Not to become his flaw, leaving the palace is the best. Sister, do you know? Actually I don't want to leave here."
I hid my teary eyes with my hand.
"I'm scare that if I don't see him, I won't be able to breathe. The reason why I try my best to hide myself is not for him. I want to be with him. Little bit longer, I want to be with him. But there is no guarantee that this will last forever."
"Yeho, I get it. Stop it. It's my fault. Don't cry."
My sister came to me and embraced my head.
"I get it. I get how you feel. Our Aho (Yeho's childhood name) is crying again. You cried because of your sister, and now you are crying for someone else."
"You cried because of me. When did I cry because of you?"
I said it little bit jokingly, and she let me go and made a straight face.
"What are you talking about. When did I cry because of you? I smiled because of you. After my mother passed away, I only had you. I only looked at you to live. Who do you think that makes smile even now? It's all thanks to you. When you pushed me to follow my own desire, I came all the way here pretending that I couldn't win against you. When did I cry because of you? Don't say those kinds of stuff."
"Sister..."
"Don't you ever say that. I don't want to hear it at all."
I smiled with my teary eyes. But suddenly I felt something moving, and I twitched.
"Sister?"
"Ah, oh no. It's kicking again. I think it's happy to see you."
She looked little surprised too, but soon she smiled. I looked at her stomach and got surprised and looked her again.
"...Baby?"
"Did you just noticed? I was wondering when were you going to ask."
She put her hand on her little big stomach and smiled.
"It just passed six months. It's now moving sometimes."
"Oh my. I'm having a niece or a nephew?"
I shouted with excitement, and she nodded with a smile. I smiled brightly.
"I can see your husband flying with excitement. Congratulation."
"Yes. Thank you."
"Ahhh, you said it was six month? You have about four months. It's not good to have a baby in a foreign land? It's too bad for me, but you and your husband should hurry."
She had a strange face after I said that. I was puzzled and looked at her.
"Why? What happened?"
"Ah, that. We are not sure whether we should go back or not."
"Why? Your husband's merchant is still at his homeland. You can't leave the merchant for this long right?"
"Yes. That's true..."
She was little struggling and sighed and looked at me.
"He asked us if we want to send our goods to the imperial palace."
I couldn't say a word after she said that.
"...Wha.. what are you saying?"
"He asked if we want to become a Royal Provider... He told us to think about cleaning up the merchant in the homeland and move the resident to here."
*norigae - Korean traditional accessory
*Extra Facts
Long time ago, people had their childhood name before... My dad had it too.
Koreans had 'childhood name' because long time ago many kids died, and people thought it was because of the ghosts taking away the kids. So they named their children officially but called them differently, so the ghost can't tell who is who. And after the child pass age two or three, they officially register them to the city. (I guess because they don't want to get birth certificate and get death certificate year after... )
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