novel
| ← Ch.085 | Ch.087 → |
Rubica was sick of it. She had seen people die many times. She had seen it so many times that she was truly sick of it. She didn't want to see people die anymore. She didn't want to see more people despair over their loved ones' death.
'If it weren't for the mana stone... '
Mana stones were always the problem. Nations and individuals who acquired it could get huge wealth. It was also why the war had gotten so big with Stella.
Dragons tended to choose lands with abundant resources as their territories. Iber chose to live in the mountains that were known to have even purer and stronger mana stones than the one present in the Seritos kingdom. On the other hand, Ios got himself the fertile land where many rare plants grew.
Humans wanted those lands, but they had no power to fight the dragons, so there was nothing they could do.
However, that changed the moment Stella was made. With it, humans had the power to fight dragons, not just their underlings.
Dragons were content to have their fertile land, but humans were different.
The moment a kingdom got a dragon's territory, the whole continent's power was rearranged though long and tiring wars.
While the young and poor people lost their lives, the aristocrats enjoyed the mana stone and their abundant resources.
Rubica saw all that tragedy and the adventurers who had to go to get mana quartz. She tried to believe it was all part of necessary evil, but she couldn't help questioning, 'Is that really a necessary sacrifice?'
She knew sometimes it was needed to risk lives for the nation and the world, but those brave people were not the ones who would benefit from all that destruction. Instead, people who forced them to sacrifice themselves were.
Compensation enough to live? To the deceased's families, that couldn't be more important than having them back alive.
"Rubica."
Edgar carefully called her name. She was still crying, so she couldn't say anything and just trembled.
She knew she looked like a child pouting for not getting her wish granted, but she couldn't control herself.
"Rubica."
A kind voice called her, with its former firmness all gone. Rubica wanted to say something, but she couldn't.
She was going to cry out loud if she failed to hide her shaking voice. She really didn't want to do that.
"Rubica."
She heard Edgar's voice again. It sounded a little closer.
Soon a huge hand carefully stroked her face. The soothing gesture made her even sadder. She didn't want to show that and clenched her fists until her hands turned white, but it was no good.
Edgar's hands gently wrapped her face and carefully lifted it up. He saw her eyes shedding tears. It made his heart ache so much that he wanted to grab his own heart.
"My family has a long history, so it values its traditions very much. Getting mana quartz is one of the many things we do to honor the first Claymore's legacy. They will all strongly protest if you try to break it. Rubica, I... cannot let you get blamed like that."
"But..."
Rubica opened her lips with a shaking voice. She knew how foolish she looked. But still... she wanted to convince Edgar till the last moment. She wanted to bet everything on the slightest warmth and hesitation in his eyes.
"I don't mind getting blamed. Can't you at least let me try? You can do nothing or pretend to not know. Just... give me a chance to convince them."
"Rubica!"
Edgar couldn't take it anymore and tightly hugged her. His heart ached. He knew she was right. Still, he had to stop her, and he hated himself for that. He couldn't let her walk into the fire pit.
"No. Please... don't do it. You will only be hurt and nothing will change."
Those words reached Rubica's ears. He was speaking for her but, strangely, those words pierced her heart. Those warm words hurt her more than any harsh words she had heard.
"... Edgar."
"My relatives will do anything to stop you. You... you have just become the duchess."
Rubica tried to get away from him, but he held her even tighter. From now, he was going to convince her with harsh words. He didn't want to see her painful face as he pointed out the sad reality.
"They will first have Ann give up her position as the housekeeper. They will say she failed to serve you well and make her take the responsibility. If you still don't give up, they will find every weakness you have and attack you with it. They will find faults with the new lady-in-waiting you just hired and kick her out and demand you to stop funding your cousin who is studying at the Aron's Academy, and for the worst..."
Edgar could feel Rubica's shoulders tremble, but he let out a sigh and forced himself to continue.
"Claymore's weapons might not sell as well as before. It can happen if you decide to go on with your wishes. Then, the continent will be in peace, but some of the people in this kingdom will have to starve to death instead. And, they will make you responsible for it. Rubica, you might become a criminal and get exiled in an instant."
There. His explanation was over. Rubica didn't say anything more. She just wetted Edgar's shirt with tears.
Now she couldn't find anything to convince him with. The people in Seritos were surviving thanks to the weapons that Claymore made. Which country on earth would gladly sell wheat and food to a faraway kingdom at the end of the continent that had no specialties?
She had to accept that fact. It was sad, but she had to accept it.
As always, it wasn't easy to follow the way she thought was right, especially so as her way was different from what others called 'right'.
If it had been her problem alone, she would have pushed forward no matter what Edgar said. However, her decision wasn't just going to make her suffer and end there.
Edgar let her know her decision was going to hurt the people she loved and cared about. If she had been the only one to suffer, she would have followed her way no matter what.
However, it all changed if the people near her were also about to get hurt.
'Stop. You must give up. Insisting more is foolish. '
Her head accepted it, but her heart couldn't. She just couldn't give up, and it all came out in her tears.
She wanted to stop crying and tell Edgar she could see his point like a grown-up.
However, if she had been able to do what she wanted, she would have ceased being a mortal and become a goddess a long time ago.
"Rubica."
Edgar held her tightly for a long time and then carefully called her. As she wasn't moving her small lips to convince him, she probably had understood what he meant.
However, she was still crying and shivering, and it made him nervous. He looked down and saw the top of her head that had made him smile just when looking at it.
But this time, he couldn't smile. He was rather worried sick of her.
He gently stroked her shaking shoulders, but her trembling didn't stop. It just got worse. Have I ever comforted someone crying... he looked back into his memory and asked himself, but it was no good. He had been raised tough as the only son and the heir of the family. How he was supposed to handle such a situation, he didn't know.
"Rubica."
His mind turned white at seeing her silently crying. He couldn't even think of ordinary sentences to comfort people, like 'don't cry' or 'I know how you feel'. He just called her name like an idiot.
He was sorry. Why was he a Claymore? How good it would have been if Claymore had been like any other normal noble families that only had to rule their domains well.
He knew he was feeding people with the blood of other people.
He had been educated to not feel guilty about it. Thanks to that, to him, Claymore was a family he had to protect with pride.
But then, this woman he met at the age of twenty-five was shaking his values and making him feel a strong desire to throw them away.
"Rubica."
Edgar called her name and stroked her hair. Then, he carefully lifted her face.
At that moment, Rubica closed her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to look at Edgar, she was so afraid.
She felt like he would shout at her and scold her for being a fool as soon as he saw her crying.
However, she heard nothing. No tuts, no yells. She just could feel his hand silently wiping her tears, saying he knew why she was insisting...
Rubica knew he had understood what she was saying. However, he had his own burden that stopped him from agreeing with her goodwill.
She had to stop... she had to stop, but she cried even more.
It would have been better to not know Edgar at all. Then, she would have been able to blame him and call him a ruthless man who made weapons.
Sometimes, having someone to blame could be a huge help. She could blame him for every misfortune and evil in the world.
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