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Those two were very composed, but even so, Miko saw them off with just a tiny bit of worry.
Is it really as easy as they think?
For the Old Dei, their condition, perception of time, and even their visualization of the "world", are fundamentally different compared to "living things" like them── No. They are the very definition of different. That's why the Miko of the distant past wasn't able to give the girl struggling with doubts any answers.
A complicated promise was exchanged with a complicated "Pledge". Their interactions while they were bounded by chains were nothing more than two people going in different directions b. u. mping into each other, but that gave birth to a strange form of coexistence, a complicated relations. h. i. +p:
"Friends. h. i. +p", or at the very least, she wanted to be friends with the girl, even without something like the chains of the Pledges. She wants her to laugh, cry, and more than anything have fun of her own free will. She'd break those chains just for that. She'd break them even just for the sake of doing that.
──To come this far, she's had to do many complicated things.
Even now, Miko can't think of anything she could do after breaking those chains. Right now, her friend is disappearing and crying in anguish, but she can only watch over her while biting her nails, and clenching her fists.
For more than half a century, she has bet her life countless times, and got through multiple scenes of carnage, furthermore:
──She was confident that this would be the biggest, or perhaps, the last bet of her life.
Sora and s. h. i. +ro had also bet everything, and Miko stared at their backs as if she were praying.
"... Uhmmm. What is a G. o. d── What am I? Was it? Well, to put it simply──"
Slowly, Sora sighed and squatted right next to the girl.
"Why was I born? Why do I live?... Pfft──!!"
From a serious expression, suddenly he magnificently burst into laughter. He was even tearing up and holding his stomach as he laughed, but he continued:
"What would such person be!? They could only be a'G. o. d-cla. s. s idiot' of course!!" Miko sighed as she heard this.
──'Was I perhaps too hasty?' She thought as she stared into the void with cold eyes.
"What is your head filled with? Jam!? Is it also made of wheat and beans!? Even bread has more kinetic energy, are you okay with that!? Isn't it obvious that if you just approached this with a different outlook you would've been hundreds of times livelier!?"
And, even now, one could almost see Sora pointing and laughing at her. The girl trembled a little bit, and at the same time, the cracks in the s. p. a. ce spread.
── That dark, small, and black s. p. a. ce shattered──
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──Had she become unable to maintain even that small and dark s. p. a. ce?
Sora and s. h. i. +ro, Miko, and the self-proclaimed G. o. d that was on the verge of disappearing even now, left behind the dark, shattered s. p. a. ce, and reappeared in the sky.
They were now in free-fall. However, Sora and s. h. i. +ro just held hands, looked at the giant chess pieces over the horizon, and smiled broadly.
── The world on top of a board. The world where the "Ten Pledges" exist.
Where an outrageous person made an "Opening Move", a world where everything is decided by games.
That's right, it was the same scenery as the day they came here──
"What, did you get angry!? Heeey, did you get mad!? Are you throwing a fit!? hyahaha～!!"
"... Nii, this just looks like... you are bullying... a little girl"
Sora and s. h. i. +ro were trying to ignore the fact that they were doing an amazing cordless bungee jump with calm and composure.
They continued to apply one of gaming's fundamentals: a mental attack.
"── be, silent..."
"Whaaaaa!? Sorry, I can't hear you!? The wind is too loud!!"
"I'm telling thou to be silent!!" She screamed. She ended up hugging her head, covering her ears, and scattering her tears.
"Haah!? After answering your question you are telling me to shut up!? Is this a girl's mood swings!? Are you the autumn sky?!"
Sora keeps striking his downed enemy, and the girl screams in return ── No.
Her face just seemed like she was shaking and screaming. She looked at Sora and s. h. i. +ro with that face.
────What on earth is this?
Just what did I do? Why do I have to go through this? Answer me. If you don't feel like answering, at least let me sleep.
... 'She looks just like Jibril' Sora thinked, and made a bitter smile unintentionally.
It looks like the high-ranked races too── even the Old Dei have their own problems. Was it because they are too great? Or perhaps because they saw too much, and noticed too much as well? As expected, this is just something the lowest ranked race can't understand: What worries could those in heaven have? But really, in that case... she was so great that she looped back around──
── to being a hopeless, crying child of the lowest ranked race!!!
"Hey!! You were so smart you looped right back around to being dumb, girl!!!"
"Be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet ── quiet..."
── A concept that gained self-awareness, is that a G. o. d──an Old Deus? If the concept of doubt gained self-awareness, would it doubt everything? Since her Quintessence made her do that, did she have no choice but to keep doubting? Until, in the end, she doubted even herself, and negated herself?
── I really don't understand this at all!!──
"What are you!? Even though it's so dumb I'll still answer you, so listen well!!"
Why did Miko and this girl become so serious over such a stupid thing?
'Why do they not understand something so simple?' is what Sora was trying to understand from the bottom of his heart.
This girl is a G. o. d that can only doubt everything?
── There's no way that's true!!
"At the very least, you are not the G. o. ddess of doubt, I a. s. sure you!!"
When they heard him deny such a major premise, both the self-proclaimed G. o. ddess of doubt, and Miko, open their eyes wide as if asking for proof, but they only received Sora's laughter.
Proof. Proof they say? Just how much did they want to make him laugh.
── Why do they think such a thing is necessary!?
"If you really doubt everything, then why do you seek answers!?"
"────────"
── If she asks something, then... she believes that "There is an answer". If she really doubted everything, then she wouldn't even be able to ask.
"If you doubt everything, then the very first thing you would normally doubt is: Am I really the G. o. ddess of doubt?"
You believe if there's proof? But where is the proof of that proof? You believe if there's a proof of that proof? But where is the proof of the proof of the proof?
── It just becomes an infinite regress, there is no possible answer, however.
For argument's sake, let's say that there really is a G. o. d that doubts everything. But be it for argument's sake that for the sake of the girl, or even for the sake of everything, saying that that G. o. d is the faint girl in front of their eyes...
"Would that G. o. d really make such a face!? Would they get hurt, cry, get angry, and scream!?"
"────, ah... hic"
── Being told that perplexed her and made her cry. If they were telling her to recognize that she was just a girl, then she'd just wait for an opportunity to say:'Are you kidding me?'.
I see. It seems that she was the first one to have a "Heart" in this world. Since she was alone, she couldn't verify that with someone else, she couldn't become aware of it either.
Let's say that her "Heart" was born from her doubt and curiosity. But in that case, just doubting everything wouldn't give birth to a heart, it wouldn't be necessary either, however!!
"──── In that case... What am I?..." The ephemeral girl said with a sorrowful voice. She was about to disappear, just like a mirage. Holding out her hand, her whole body, with eyes just like the past Sora and s. h. i. +ro she asked:
"... Now that I am even doubting whether or not I'm the G. o. ddess of doubt... then──"
That's right, if even her smallest definition was wrong, then:
Just what should she believe──No.
Just how should she live──No.
Plain and simply, just what should she do?
The girl questioned everything.
Sora tightens the hand that was holding s. h. i. +ro's once more.
──He was trying to ignore the wind hitting him, and the approaching ground, as hard as he could.
He has to answer. Answer the girl who is seeking what they themselves seeked in the past.
So, what Sora started to tell was something like a fairy tale, but make no mistake, it was a true story:
"A long time ago── actually, for you it was very recently. In a certain place, there was a super lame idiot."
── And he was really an idiot.
That idiot didn't seem to know how to live.
He thought that it would've been fine if he lived as the others wanted. It was an idiotic way of thinking, it would've been better if he hadn't thought of anything at all.
"That idiot decided that he was just a "Puppet", and he really did become a puppet without noticing it."
It didn't have a happy ending, and it wasn't an interesting story either.
That was one side of it... Sora continues:
"A long time ago ── and this was actually a long time ago. Somewhere, there was a super cool idiot"
── And he was really an idiot.
That idiot seemed to be dissatisfied with living in despair because of the Great War.
He thought he could just create a world he'd want to live in. He was taking it a bit too far, it was an idiotic way of thinking.
"That idiot decided that the world was just a game, and the world really did become a game before anyone noticed."
And they lived happily ever after.
However, this story still hasn't ended yet. That's because:
"Those two idiots, were both idiots after all. The two of them made a mistake"
The former was too weak. The latter was too strong. Those are the reasons why they made their own mistakes.
The two of them failed, and regretted.
"── That's why, in the end, they were both lame. They decided in their hearts that the next time, they wouldn't make a mistake."
Probably. Sora added in his head, and made a bitter smile. It was something he learned recently. Sora thinks about the guys that couldn't think like others.
"... N-Nii... I-I know you're trying to look cool... but, we're already..." s. h. i. +ro said as she pointed downwards with a trembling finger.
── Sora unintentionally screamed, gulped, and said:
"all right, I'll stop trying to look cool!?" He said with a trembling voice, panicking.
Sigh, he was the very image of uncoolness. He kept talking without pause to accelerate the conclusion.
"Recognize that you are an idiot! That you don't understand anything!!"
──In any case, if she doesn't understand anything,
"You can only desperately fumble around!! No matter how much you think, you can only find the answers for tomorrow at most! You're that incompetent! But you shouldn't care what others think!── Isn't that fine?"
── If she can't understand anything no matter what,
"Let's say this loud and clear: You're totally uncool!"
He was sure it was like that. Even if it was just his opinion, or something he decided, it would be fine. If he ever realized that he was wrong, if he just swallowed his words, and retracted what he said it'd be fine.
Ah, there was also a time when he used to say such idiotic things!!
No matter what you have to do, even if it embarrases you, throw away your pride!
── What if I keep saying that for all eternity!?
If you don't like it ── that's it. That's the thing.
If you thought that the planet was flat, but it was proven to be round, and that embarra. s. sed you, then try to make it flat once again. That wouldn't be too bad, right!? After all, there was a guy that changed the world into a game, it seems possible!!
"Well, time's almost up! So let's answer, shall we!?"
With their teeth clattering, their faces cramped, and holding hands, Sora and s. h. i. +ro──
── Question. What am I?
"── Eventually, everything comes back around!!"
Like how doubts turn into beliefs, and trust becomes doubts.
Or how treason ends with cooperation, and cooperation gives birth to rebellion.
Or how the strong defeat the weak. Or how there is intelligence and foolishness.
It's as if everything contained two opposite concepts.
Even for antonyms like white and black, you can only separate things into whichever grey is closest to them, according to the circ. u. mstances!
Even for a G. o. d, if it was too much... It would be as if you had made a human cry...
"Regardless of what you might be! If you go back all the way around, it becomes the opposite!!" Sora and s. h. i. +ro said, holding hands, and extend their other hand towards the eyes that were seeking what they, Blank, once sought.
── She was so wise that she became stupid, she became empty because of the isolation... that girl didn't even have a name.
And now, she wasn't even certain if she was the G. o. ddess of doubt, the girl was questioning her own Quintessence.
Even so, the girl demands and begs for an answer, she was using those two opposite concepts──
*
"If you take these hands, then you are just the lonely G. o. ddess of wisdom#:──"
"... 'Holou'#... that'd be... our answer"
They gave her a'Hollow' name like theirs. They answered the question with another question.
──Question. What am I?
"If you play with us again, you'll be the G. o. d-cla. s. s beauty, the rookie gamer girl for whom I have high expectations, Holou!"
"... If you ask again tomorrow... we will answer that you're wrong again... that you are the gamer, Holou"
──Answer. What do you want to be?
The girl hesitated, and took a few seconds to think.
As if she was frightened, and even though she was a G. o. d, as if she was praying; she slowly and quietly, extended her disappearing hand. The girl──No.
The Old Deus──No.
"──── Holou........." Holou said, and──
────............
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── And so, Miko and the girl... No, Holou.
The girl called herself that, and fell on a rock platform that was hastily constructed in midair. She was like a mirage, but now, she also had solid substance.
"... H-how about it.... s. h. i. +ro. It seems we can conclude that your brother is still alive."
"... N-no... objections... hic... hic..."
She turned towards Sora and s. h. i. +ro. They fell prostrate on the rock platform, hugging each other, and when they confirmed that they were alive, they cried.
Holou was silently approaching them. Meanwhile, the rock platform that she made was crumbling, as it gradually descended.
Since she chose to call herself Holou, her self-negation had stopped. Even so, Miko knew that her Quintessence is a concept, an acc. u. mulation of the power of an idea──
"... No matter how many times thou propose the'hypothesis'... Holou is still doubting even now."
She lowered her head, as if she was scared. She knows the reason why she is still ephemeral. Her temporary inactivity had stopped just now, but Holou's divinity had fallen below the lowest possible level.
Forget about the power to create a land that spiraled to the heavens, now she doesn't even have the power to maintain this single rock platform.
What's more──
"... Even thou... even thy words... I still doubt them..."
── That's right, even if it's like Sora says, and everything went back around to its opposites, that just means that it would have both qualities, and both meanings.
To doubt, you need to believe, strength encompa. s. ses weakness, wisdom coexists with foolishness.
Whether you called Holou's Quintessence "Doubt", or "Desire"# it's nature would be the same──
That's because she desired that, this is the hypothesis she chose: As long as she is the G. o. ddess of wisdom that entertains every thought, she'd entertain every thought, even these words.
She is the weakest Old Deus.
She can't make any conclusions, if making hypotheses was her limit, then... Holou looks down and says:
"Even so, was there a meaning to taking Holou's hand even now!?"
"Yesssssss! I finally took it, a low angle shot!"
... It was a serious question, but as expected, she was interrupted by Sora, who is suspected to have a disease that would kill him if he was ever serious. He rose with an unbelievable speed, and took a picture from Holou's lower right,
"I waited for the perfect opportunity! Just what kind of paradise was hidden inside that slit in your clothes by the waist... I've been so focused on it, that I haven't been able to sleep these last 42 days, but now, I can finally, sleep..."
──He had been aiming for this ever since the game started, so what was on the picture?
With a blissful smile, Sora holds his nose── and just like that, he closes his eyes as if he was going to sleep forever.
"... Nii... that's not just... 18+... that's forbidden material."
"Hm, that's not like you, my sister! Just what law forbids pictures of a tens of thousands, hundreds of millions years old girl!?"
"... It's against the misdemeanor laws... forbidding peeping photos... it's a violation of her rights to self image..."
"Ahahaha, that's naive, very naive my sister!"
He was dying just a few moments ago, what happened to that? Sora exaggeratedly screams:
"Those are all human laws. They only apply to the human race! Therefore──!?"
"... ! They don't... apply to... a G. o. d... ?"
──Exactly.
s. h. i. +ro joins Sora as he flies towards Holou, and──
.............
".......... . Thou. Are thou... really... human!?"
Sora was patting Holou's head, and s. h. i. +ro was rubbing cheeks with her──
"............. Designation: Sora, Designation: s. h. i. +ro"
"Yes. What is it! Also the'designation' is unnecessary!"
His voice made it clear that he didn't have any intentions of replying until she called them by name,
"Holou is still an Old Deus. Remember?... So answer my question──"
She doesn't know how to react. Or at least that was supposed to be the case, but Holou had a beet red embarra. s. sed face when they turned towards her,
"── Don't make such a worried face. It wasn't meaningless."
"... As long as... Holou... keeps calling herself... Holou... it will be fine"
Hollow. Empty──No matter how much you poured into her──
"We shared'our pride' with you. Rather than worrying about that──"
"... You should worry... about the time when... you got embarra. s. sed... because of our names..."
The two of them said, with childish smiles.
Did she finally understand, or rather hypothesize, that they were provoking her?
"── Exceed rank 16──Lowest ranked race"
Holou herself surely didn't realize, but she had a very vexed face. She struggled free from them,
"It is nothing more than an a. s. sumption from an a. n. a. logy, a hypothesis that might be negated tomorrow, but──" Holou said, or perhaps, boldly declared.
'Everything comes back around' If she were to hypothesize Sora's claim...
To Miko it just looked like she was displeased with the pair grinning at her, but,
"Hypothesis: The highest ranking race──transcendence will also come back around, so next time Holou will win against you, the lowest ranked race." Holou declared, but Sora and s. h. i. +ro just had satisfied smiles.
"... Come and get us... we accept your challenge"
"Well, do your best. We will answer as many questions and challenges as you want♪"
That is fine. She had a face worthy of the one they shared their name with.
Sora and s. h. i. +ro gallantly turned back──
──However.
Holou firmly grabbed Sora by his sleeve.
"Thou were telling the truth, right? In that case──"
When he turned to look at Holou's dazzling eyes, he had a bad premonition──
── A scroll big enough to cover the sky was spread out.
He realized that they were the doubts she had kept listing for who knows how many millions of years──
"Thou will answer everything."
When he was pierced with that look full of expectation, Sora...
"at least let me answer them one by one..."
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And, after some tens of minutes.
Only Miko noticed that the descending rock platform had stopped──
"── I. Keep. Telling. You! Holou is Holou! What's the problem with that?!"
"There is a problem. Let me ask thou: What is the definition of me, who is called Holou?"
"Aren't you calling yourself Holou right now!?"
"Nay. I just a. s. sumed that the one thou call Holou is Holou. The definition of'me' is still──"
"The one whose eyes I saw! Touched! Talked to! The one I'm super thankful to for letting me take that wonderful picture! That person, in other words, you! Holou! Any objections!?"
"Objection. The'eyes' thou saw, the'body' thou touched, and──"
Holou announced, without missing a beat, that they were extremely important things.
"The childish body's nether regions thou photographed so thankfully ── They are all outside the scope of that definition."
"── Now you've made me think that I'm just some criminal a. s. shole..."
He wants to say that it wasn't like that but...
There's no way he can make any excuses for that unsightly lolicon accusation at this point. That's what Miko thought, as she gazed at Sora and Holou's stalemate of an argument with distant eyes.
That should be it. Holou's true form isn't that girly appearance, after all.
"I am Holou's Quintessence"
".......... eh. You mean... that inkline you were always on?"
"──Nay. That is not accurate either. What thou saw as an inkline was simply an image of my divinity that thou could comprehend. In the first place, Old Dei don't have a true physical body. This'puppet' is nothing more than a virtual image used to communicate my will──"
"Okay, this is too bothersome～♥ Hyah!!"
"....... . Thou? Thou, thou. Why was Holou's head karate chopped?"
"So you were karate chopped! You admitted it, right!? In that case, both this and that are Holou, so no objections, right!?"
────Sigh.
Looking like she had noticed something, Holou was mumbling for a moment, so Miko thought this was her chance. She should run away, she slowly distanced herself from Sora. Miko looks around aimlessly, and makes a bitter smile.
──In the past, there was a certain fox... that made a big mistake.
The G. o. ddess of Doubt, she was born to doubt everything and ask questions for all eternity.
Her first friend... wanted a basis to support her doubting self.
The fox had that misunderstanding. Seriously, she was a failure of a friend.
What she really wanted was simply to be able to believe, something to believe in──
── That certain someone approached Miko, and muttered:
"Well then, this would be our victory, right～ Miko-san?"
They stopped Holou's self-negation and made her independent. He splendidly cleared Miko's trap.
"Kaka! You are underestimating me, adults have their own way of winning, child" Miko responded with a smile.
That's right, she was an adult. She couldn't help but become one, so Miko smiles bitterly.
The boring bunch that's making the world complicated, the bunch that has given up many things. However,
"... If it's you, you would be able to do something that I couldn't──"
That's right, in order to free Holou, she bet her own life, it was the biggest bet of her life, and she won it.
"In the first place, I bet on my own defeat... No matter how you look at it, this is my win, right♪"
She tried to make excuses, but,
"... If Miko-san... bet on... her own, defeat"
"Then that was Miko's loss. Therefore, this is our victory"
"............. . ?"
Sora and s. h. i. +ro said with a meaningful smile, as they waved their hands dismissively.
They'd be reaching the ground soon, so Sora and s. h. i. +ro turn towards the edge of the stone platform, as Miko looks at them quizzically.
"Medium, Medium!"
Holou was using her writing brush, when she suddenly screamed, and ran up to Miko.
"Holou is Holou! Doth thou have any objections!?"
........................
"What's up with that face!? Didst thou not understand me!?"
Holou was like a philosopher whose great discovery wasn't understood by the ma. s. ses.
──However, that wasn't it.
"Thou can say that as long as there is an observer that defines'me' and they recognize and call me as Holou, I have tentative proof that the one called Holou exists. Therefore, Holou can call herself Holou!
Miko was dumbfounded
When Holou came running at her, she took her hand without hesitation.
── Did you forgive me?
Is it alright for the hand that you take by your own will to be mine?
In the end, I couldn't do anything, I don't have the qualifications. Miko thought.
──'There is something I want to say before you start thinking about minor details'──
"... I deceived you... can you forgive me?..."
"I cannot forgive thou" She instantly replied, and tilted her head to the side. Miko lowered her eyes for an instant, however──
"Since Holou still hasn't been able to hypothesize what it means to forgive"
*
────
"But it is just like the medium says, since you deceived Holou, both the conclusion and the end were changed together with Holou." Holou nods a few times, she was rethinking things, as if she wanted to confirm something,
"── And it looks like it is not an incredibly unpleasant change" She said. Even she herself probably doesn't realize, but she was smiling──
── And with a small movement, it was gone.
The place where the rock platform had descended were the gardens of Miyas. h. i. +ro.
Coming to meet them were Steph, Jibril... And Izuna's smile.
They looked at Holou's, Miko's, and Sora and s. h. i. +ro's faces in order,
"Welcome home──was it?"
──Steph said, with the most radiant smile,
Sora and s. h. i. +ro answer with a thumbs up,
"Hey, Steph... sorry to greet you with bad news so soon but..."
"... good... bye... Steph..."
Fatigue, tension, hunger, and various other things made them lose consciousness right then and there.
| ← Ch. 51 | Ch. 53 (e) → |