novelLook Up If You Think That a Kitsch
| ← Ch.353 | Ch.355 → |
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Bloody Rose was back...
When Li Yi was about to deal a blow to Defiantly Tyrannical and company, this frustrating woman stepped onto the Eastern Continent once more.
Right now, the Iron Alliance was out in full force to claim the Throne. They could gather a few people to kill Bloody Rose a couple of times, but if it dragged on, she may become a bit of a burden.
Defiantly Tyrannical's bounty was now ineffective as well. Bloody Rose grew more and more cunning each time, riding her Fire Hawk everywhere. Her movements were completely unpredictable, and she flew away at the first sight of trouble, unwilling to get embroiled in any battle. That just made her even harder to intercept.
"There's one person who might be able to stop her..."
Li Yi was surfing the forums on the official site to kill time, and as a result, he came across a surprise.
There was still Scumbag Wang!
Scumbag Wang had posted the video where he killed Bloody Rose onto the official site a long time ago, but because the forum title was rather stupid, the post received very few clicks. Li Yi had also only seen the video by accident because he scrolled to the very end.
The video uploaded by Scumbag Wang was titled Spy Trying to Drive a Wedge Between Us!
At first, Li Yi just could not figure out how the EXP Pearl ended up in Scumbag Wang's hands, and why Scumbag Wang sent the EXP Pearl back to him. It was only when Li Yi saw this video that it finally dawned on him.
The video was filmed in high resolution, and the audio was extremely clear as well. Li Yi watched it from the beginning all the way to the end and burst out laughing.
It seemed like the best way to cripple Bloody Rose was to get Scumbag Wang's help.
After all, everybody had their own weakness...
Li Yi prepared himself mentally and immediately messaged Scumbag Wang.
"Leader Scum, you there?"
"Yeah, who's this?"
"I'm Wang'er's Uncle, don't you remember me? We talked before."
Scumbag Wang froze and did not reply for a long time.
Suddenly, Scumbag Wang roared out, "I remember you, I remember you! It was your stupid idea last time that cost me the position of Castellan! Tell me where you're at, gimme your coordinates, and Imma bust your *ss, one on one!"
Li Yi hurriedly closed the conversation.
'D*mnit, I used the wrong name. He still remembers what happened last time, huh. '
A while later, Li Yi contacted Scumbag Wang again.
"Leader Scum, you there?"
"Yeah, who's this? Your voice sounds kinda familiar."
"I'm Hua Feihua's uncle, we met before. Don't you remember?"
"Sister Hua's uncle?" Scumbag Wang paused for a moment before saying in surprise, "Oh, it's you, Uncle! How could I ever forget you? Is something the matter?"
"Sigh, don't bring it up. I'm being hunted down." Li Yi abruptly changed the topic.
With a wail, Scumbag Wang said, "F*ck!
"Cough, Uncle, don't misunderstand anything, I'm not saying f*ck you, really, I swear, I'm cursing at the person who's killing you..."
Li Yi was speechless.
'Motherf*cking idiot, would it kill you to not explain yourself for once?'
"Uncle, just go on, I'm listening." Scumbag Wang sounded extremely sincere.
"That person's called Bloody Rose, and she's killed me more than 50 times. Sigh..."
"F*ck me, it's that bloody idiot!" Scumbag Wang flew into another rage.
"Don't worry, Uncle, leave it all to me. I won't stop until I bring Bloody Rose back to Level 0, or my last name ain't Scumbag Wang!"
"Leader Scum, your last name isn't Scumbag Wang to begin with..." One of Scumbag Wang's subordinates chimed in beside him.
"We'll leave it at that for now, Uncle. After I finish off Bloody Rose, please put in a kind word for me with Sister Huahua, okay?" Scumbag Wang had his own ideas as well.
"Of course! Of course!"
Done deal!
Both sides ended the conversation.
Now that it was all settled, Li Yi could just kick back and enjoy the show.
"My uncle's been hunted, everybody get your *sses here."
Scumbag Wang shouted in the Guild Channel and immediately riled up the crowd, earning a rapturous response.
"Who dares to kill Leader Scum's uncle? They tired of living?"
"D*mnit, they can kill me, fine, but killing our Leader Scum's uncle? Let me at'em."
"Let's gather, for our Uncle!"
An hour later, more than 500 members of the Huashan Guild gathered at the Little Pinewood.
There were more than 500 of them, and they all had red names. Their equipment was a disordered mess, with Warriors wearing cloth armor and Wizards wearing plate armor. The most ridiculous ones were the Light Priests standing in a row at the very front. Not a single one held a staff; instead, they were all armed with steel swords, and they cut quite the imposing figure as they stood there.
"You think a melee Wizard is OP? You couldn't be more wrong! A melee Priest is the real OP, just imagine, slashing away while healing yourself? Who could stand up to that?"
That's what Leader Scum said, and so the melee Priests were born.
Scumbag Wang nodded, satisfied, before saying in a deep voice, "This battle isn't like the others, so I hope you put your all into it. We either succeed, or we succeed!"
"Leader Scum, what do you mean by we either succeed or succeed?" asked Lonely Perfume.
Scumbag Wang lost his temper."Go be Fengxi's underling tomorrow, your IQ's disappointing!"
"I'm sorry, Leader Scum..." Lonely Perfume burst into tears.
There was a sarcastic laugh from the crowd."A murderer can be sorry too, but what good does that do?"
Leader Scum's eyes lit up."Who said that? Whoever you are, come out!"
"Leader Scum, it's me." A short fatty ran out of the crowd, all smiles.
"Tell me your name."
The short fatty roared, "I'm Defiant Mountain Gun, I joined the guild yesterday."
Scumbag Wang nodded approvingly."You've plenty of potential. Leader Scum likes you, so you'll be coming with me from today on."
"Leader Scum, what about me?" Lonely Perfume wept.
"Go look for Fengxi and get your IQ adjusted."
"Sigh..."
...
It was the same Little Pinewood outside Shattered Frost City.
It was the same clearing.
Bloody Rose and Scumbag Wang were reunited.
No one else could find Bloody Rose, but Scumbag Wang could because he was Bloody Rose's only friend.
All it took was a word from him, and Bloody Rose was there.
"Powerhouse, why did you call me here this time?"
Bloody Rose still respected Scumbag Wang deeply, unaffected by the incident last time where she had been killed.
The corners of Scumbag Wang's mouth twitched slightly, and his triangular eyes gleamed with viciousness.
"You killed my uncle!"
"Your uncle?" Bloody Rose was utterly confused.
"You can kill me, camp me, curse me, f*ck me, and I'd be fine. I'd take it. But you went and killed my uncle! Bloody Rose, I always thought you were a retard, but I was wrong."
"What are you saying, powerhouse?"
"You're not a retard, you're a b*tchtard. Have you heard of the idiom, 'a b*stard in a fireplace gets himself hot and bothered'?"
"That's a saying, not an idiom, right?"
Scumbag Wang laughed coldly."You're making me hot and bothered. And you say that you still can't tell why I called you out here?"
Bloody Rose shook her head, stumped.
Scumbag Wang raised his kitchen knife and rushed at her.
"Kill you and get revenge for my uncle, of course!"
"Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!"
Bloody Rose lifted her weapon and fought back. Within three moves, Scumbag Wang was laid flat.
"Powerhouse, I didn't mean it. I..."
As soon as Bloody Rose killed Scumbag Wang, she immediately regretted it.
"How dare you kill our Leader Scum! Brothers, go, let's gang up on her!"
The short fatty, Defiant Mountain Gun, led more than 500 men into a charge, surrounding Bloody Rose. However, instead of attacking her, they just spammed her with friend requests.
"What are you doing?"
Bloody Rose had long since closed her friend requests. She could add others as friends, but if others tried to add her, she would not even see the request.
"Open your friend requests. Our Leader Scum said that we should add you as a friend."
"Powerhouse said that?" said Bloody Rose suspiciously.
"Yep, Powerhouse said that."
"Alright then..."
In lieu of an apology, Bloody Rose allowed herself to receive friend requests.
"Ding! Ding! Ding!"
More than 500 players sent Bloody Rose requests all at once, making her dizzy...
"Go, brothers!"
With a wave of his hand, Defiant Mountain Gun sent several dozen Huashan subordinates pouncing at her at the same time. Bloody Rose's blade rose and fell, and seven players crashed to the ground, but there were just too many of them. Since they had all added her as their friend, they could approach her, and as a result, tragedy befell her...
Defiant Mountain Gun seized the chance to hug Bloody Rose from behind, knocking her to the ground mercilessly.
"Strip her! Gang up on her!"
Bloody Rose was quickly stripped down, the Durability on all her equipment disappearing. Even the scarf she used to cover her face fell off.
Bloody Rose was not a beauty by anyone's standard. In terms of her appearance, she was much more like a certain internet celebrity known as Sister Feng.
Her eyes bulged like a toad's, her mouth was large enough to throw a dumpling into, and her upturned nostrils even dripped with mucus...
"F*ck, Brother Gun, I've gone soft."
"Brother Gun, I can't do it either. This's just too much for my tastes.
"Brother Gun, I... Blergh..."
The others kept gagging, but one man continued to labor away, mounted on top of Bloody Rose.
It was Defiant Mountain Gun!
"She's still a woman! I just gotta close my eyes, and it's all the same to me!"
As Defiant Mountain Gun said that, he took off his trousers and raped Bloody Rose right in front of Scumbag Wang's 500 subordinates!
He raped her!
This was the first and only successful rape in the history of the King of Pantheon game...
It was terrifying to behold. The heroine of a generation, Bloody Rose, fell at the hands of Defiant Mountain Gun, just like that.
Scumbag Wang corpse-ran back to the scene. It was not that his Priests could not use the Resurrection Spell, it was just that everyone was too busy craning their necks and trying to catch a glimpse of the scene, such that they had clean forgotten about him.
"What's happening over there? Make way, make way!"
"Leader Scum, it's horrifying, don't look..."
"What is it? What is it?"
All it took was 18 seconds!
Defiant Mountain Gun was already climbing off of Bloody Rose.
"How do you feel, Brother Mountain Gun?"
"Not too bad, it's just that I got some snot on my lips when I kissed her, so that's a little icky."
"Blergh blergh blergh..."
"Aren't any of you gonna give her a go? C'mon, gang it up."
"Blergh blergh blergh..."
Scumbag Wang squeezed his way through the crowd, and when he saw that scene, he was instantly stunned speechless.
"Leader Scum, wanna give it a try?" Defiant Mountain Gun grinned at Scumbag Wang, a wisp of snot trickling from his mouth.
The 500 subordinates threw up in all directions. Scumbag Wang was the only one who could still take it.
Scumbag Wang gave Defiant Mountain Gun a big thumbs-up."Genius... I, Scumbag Wang, have lived for this long, but other than my old man, I've never admired anyone. You're the first!"
Before Defiant Mountain Gun could reply, Bloody Rose leaped up from the ground and hugged Defiant Mountain Gun from behind. She then summoned her Fire Hawk and flew into the sky...
"I, Bloody Rose, have lived for this long, but I've never loved anyone. You're the first!"
"Save me, Leader Scum!"
Defiant Mountain Gun's screams of terror echoed through the sky as the Fire Hawk lifted them higher and higher, until they vanished from sight...
Ten days later, when Scumbag Wang was at home, he received an invitation to Miss Rose's and Mr. Mountain Gun's Wedding of the Century.
Exactly, it was a real-life wedding!
...
| ← Ch. 353 | Ch. 355 → |