novel
| ← Ch.92 | Ch.94 → |
Qin Yao stared at Gu Yan, and after a moment, he smiled, "Alright."
Gu Yan breathed a sigh of relief. He really felt quite meek dealing with Qin Yao now, he didn't want to experience any more of Qin Yao's 'anger'. This was truly a headache, there was nothing he could actually do against Qin Yao at all.
Although, to some extent, you could say he had brought this upon himself.
The statures of the two were not much different, so Gu Yan could pretty much fit in Qin Yao's clothes. He had to wear them since his own clothes were ripped, not having any clothes would have been difficult for him as well.
Most of Qin Yao's clothes were basically black, so when Gu Yan had put them on, the two of them looked like they were dressed in couple outfits standing next to each other.
With a phone call, Qin Yao was done booking seats for the two of them at the movie's premiere, then, he got ready to bring Gu Yan out.
At night, Gu Yan was standing at the gates, and his mood felt complicated.
Everything was going so smoothly, Qin Yao was actually taking him out just like that. Was he not afraid at all that he would escape?
Gu Yan's original intention was not to go out, because for him, whether he went out or not did not matter, the one who wanted to escape was not him. He had just wanted to improve his relationship with Qin Yao, after all, he had been locked up in there all day, so he really felt a great pressure on his mind and body after having to deal with the capricious Qin Yao.
Well, a step forward is still a step forward.
Gu Yan could be considered a public figure now, so it was very easy to be seen when he was on the go, so he had to put on a pair of large glasses that were big enough to cover almost half his face. Only then could he go outside with Qin Yao.
Besides the media, those who could participate in the premiere were the insiders. The real audience there that were participating weren't many.
Gu Yan had left the set as soon as the filming was done. After disappearing for so long, he had just realized now how great the publicity efforts were. Before the movie was even officially released, the movie was already known throughout the country. Gu Yan had no way of going online, so he didn't even know what the public opinion of the movie was.
He was just a little surprised.
To tell the truth, when he was filming this movie, he was just coping with Qin Yao. After all, that was his deal with him. He did not take it seriously, nor did he think that Qin Yao actually planned to make a movie. It had been very rushed after all. So, even if the movie was done in vain, he would not be surprised; or perhaps, that should have been normal.
He would never have expected that Qin Yao would still go through everything and released this movie behind his back after all that happened.
Everything had done clearly with a lot of care, it was not a game to him at all, he put a lot of effort into it.
So he really planned to make a movie?
Gu Yan was confused.
The two walked to the very front and sat down. Throughout the whole way, Qin Yao had been holding on to Gu Yan's hand tightly, not even letting go even in the slightest.
Gu Yan's mood felt a little complicated. On one hand, he was not willing to remain so intimate with Qin Yao, but on the other, he felt a little uneasy. He was a bona fide high-tier demon...... No, even if he was just a man, how could he have turned into this? But from another perspective, it still felt gratifying. This showed that Qin Yao could not feel at ease about him at all. Even after all the intimate sessions they had together in this time, even if they were at the heights of their passion, Qin Yao had never once put himself at ease with Gu Yan.
But this could not be helped. Being together with such an erratic and dangerous demon, he would've died a thousand times over if he ever put his guard down. Gu Yan was very clear about this, he knew that Qin Yao wanted to be together with him, and not to die beneath his claws.
His wariness had been forced out of this situation.
If he did not even have that bit of caution, how could Qin Yao still be standing right next to him now?
Gu Yan heaved a silent sigh and focused on the movie.
This movie did hold some special meanings for him as well. You could also say this was his personal interpretation of his own life, so it was slightly interesting to see it come to life.
The movie lasted two hours. It was a short two hours, so clearly, not much could have been told.
But you had to admit that Director Yu was indeed a genius. Even under such conditions, he was able to bring out such a stunning piece of work.
At first, Gu Yan thought he was just going to pass the time by watching the movie, but later, he started to get invested into it. Only when the credits rolled in did Gu Yan finally realize the movie was over. Yes, the movie ended after his death. He was at a loss for words.
The him in that movie was not the same as what he felt himself to be at all.
Appearing tragic, yet respectable. Even if the final results were not the best, he was still admirable. The audience rang out with incessant applause, even the actress was silently wiping her tears.
There was no doubt that this was an epic that told the end of a hero.
The him in Gu Yan's eyes was not like this.
From young, he was a boy who had never experienced the warmth of an ordinary family. He knew everything, yet could receive nothing, the only thing worthy of praise was perhaps his persistence. He did what he thought he should do, what he thought was right. Everything he did was free of shame and compunction, but his end was not something he could have controlled.
He never felt that he was great.
But the him in this movie was so heroic and mighty, he felt like a stranger to him.
Was this him?
Was this really how he performed at that time?
Gu Yan felt his right hand tighten. Qin Yao held his hand tight and looked at him with serious eyes, "This is you."
Gu Yan was silent for a moment, but he forced himself to smile, "This is all your image of me through your rose-tinted glasses, isn't it? It's interesting, I never thought this could happen to a man as well."
Qin Yao shook his head, "There's no reason to twist things, this is you, this is how everyone saw you. This movie is true to history, i want everyone to know what you are like, I don't want the truth to be drowned in history, I don't want those petty people to discredit your achievements. You don't have to pay for the selfish ignorance of others, you've done enough, you deserve to have everyone's approval."
"None of what happened then was your fault."
"The ones who are wrong are those blind people who only care about themselves, it's those ungrateful ones."
"And everyone should know the truth."
Gu Yan looked at Qin Yao, he felt moved. The very last cover of fog finally lifted in his heart. Is this the reason Qin Yao insisted on making this movie? Not so he could recall these so-called memories, not to find that person from the past, but to bring his name to justice.
No matter what he turned into, whether he could remember, Qin Yao always felt he was the best.
Gu Yan turned his head away. He did not want Qin Yao to look at him in such an embarrassing state now.
He always thought he was strong and invincible, no matter what sort of difficulties, or slander he had to go through, even if he died, he would still never bow down and admit defeat. But at this moment, he felt so weak that it scared him. It felt like someone had peeled off his hard shell, and touched his vulnerable heart. He could not resist against it at all.
But at the same time, he knew that he did not have to shoulder everything by himself.
There was someone who can stand by his side now, so they could support each other, and rely on each other.
"We should go back."Gu Yan's voice was hoarse. He tried his best not to show any of his feelings within his voice, but he had not done well enough. So, he did not dare to look at Qin Yao at all. He was not good at showing anyone his fragility.
Fortunately, Qin Yao did not seem to have noticed anything. Or perhaps, he pretended not to have seen it.
He took Gu Yan's hand in his again, and like before, holding it tightly, he took him back home.
Gu Yan fell a little behind, so he was able to see Qin Yao's firm back. A flash of stupor ran through his eyes.
If it was Qin Yao, maybe, could he really help him...... ?
In the deepest depths of his heart, what was his desire that was buried so deep within, that which he did not even dare to think about? Gu Yan pursed his lips, that was too ridiculous, wasn't it? But as soon as that idea lit up in his mind, he could not press it down any longer.
No matter what, they should not go on like this. He was like a ticking time bomb standing right beside Qin Yao, at any moment, he could lose control of himself. Anytime, anywhere, he may involuntarily start to thirst and crave for the blood and flesh of humans, his appetite had already turned into his instinct. This was not what he wanted.
He wanted to be free, he wanted to be rid of all of this, but he could not die, much less hope that Qin Yao would kill him.
Gu Yan suddenly stopped walking, but he returned Qin Yao's hold on his hand with an even tighter grip. Tightly, he held onto that warm hand...... As if this was the only way he could find the courage to tell him.
"I want to turn back into a human."
| ← Ch. 92 | Ch. 94 → |