novel
| ← Ch.80 | Ch.82 → |
Gu Yan listened to him seriously with a smile playing by his lips the whole time. Not once did he interrupt Qin Yao.
When Qin Yao finally stopped, his eyes turned to the side:"So to say, you can indirectly be considered my murderer."
Qin Yao could not conceal the pain in his eyes, as if that feeling could burst through at any moment.
"I don't blame you."Gu Yan smiled cheerfully as he looked straight at Qin Yao with his beautiful eyes, speaking with a sincere tone.
Qin Yao could not help but feel stunned.
All these years, he could never come to forgive himself. His selfishness caused the death of his most important person. He dreamt about it countless times, wouldn't that person hate him, feel disgusted, or feel disappointed in him?
So he had been trying hard for all these years in order to become the man Gu Yan wanted him to be, he really felt remorseful.
He had done so much just so on the fateful day where they could finally meet again, he could hear him say that he was forgiven.
But he would never have expected his forgiveness to come so easily.
Qin Yao kept his eyes firmly on Gu Yan, as if he was trying to figure out whether he spoke the truth or not. He looked at him for a while, but could not find anything.
Gu Yan cocked his head to the side and smiled, "Really, after all, you didn't do it on purpose, no?"
"No......"
Does Gu Yan really not blame him? Qin Yao thought about it, but he felt that it might be true. He was always like that...... He was strict with himself, but always generous with others. No matter how much wrong he had done, he would beat him and scold him, but he would always forgive him, always caring about him......
Qin Yao thought of the past, and could not help but feel warm inside.
"Thank you."
Gu Yan narrowed his eyes and smiled, "No need, I should be the one thanking you. Thank you for going easy on me. After all, I'm still a demon right now, but seeing that you have no prejudice against them, I believe we can live together in peace. This is great news."
Gu Yan leaned forward and approached his face. His two black eyes glistened as an evil grin turned up his lips, "Since you do not have any prejudices against demons to begin with, and since the both of us have some past together, I have to say I'm delighted with the fate we have. It seems like it won't be impossible for us cooperate in the future, then you can fulfil my desires, and I'll be happy. It's mutually beneficial to the both of us——Don't you think so?"
Qin Yao's expression was stiffened onto his face. Slowly, the coldness and indifference returned to his face, bit by bit.
Gu Yan's face was reflected in his pupil, and he could clearly see every expression on Gu Yan's face. His calmness, rationality, deceit, and indifference.
Gu Yan's clear and melodious voice entered his ear in a casual, orderly, and unperturbed tone as he laid bare the terms with him.
Seducing him with his voice that was gentle, but hypocritical...... Causing him to want to throw himself into the abyss, not caring about anything else.
None of what have been said of the past was able to resonate with Gu Yan. He listened happily, and was even overjoyed because he let that demon go, that was the only part he was concerned about. Perhaps because this could be of use to him...... The so-called past was not what he wanted to know, he just wanted to find information he could work with. Qin Yao had to realize this——That Gu Yan and that man, was not the same.
Qin Yao clenched his hands tightly, to the point where his knuckles were starting to turn white.
Gu Yan's every word was like a dagger cutting through his heart, constantly sinking deeper, twisting, causing him so much pain that he could not breathe.
This was a thousand times more painful than when he had been pierced through the chest by his claws.
Gu Yan was that person, but he was also not.
The him now had become what he had once hated the most, a demon.
But this was not Gu Yan's fault, it was his, he was the one who lost sight of him. He thought he had found him, but he did not, he still had not found him.
Qin Yao broke up the delight he had felt, turning it into pieces, and swallowed it down. He should not have been delighted this early.
"What you've said is reasonable."Qin Yao's eyes were deep and clear of emotion.
Gu Yan's expression was casual and relaxed as he peeked at Qin Yao from the corner of his eyes, "Communication is actually very important. That way, we can understand each other's intentions, and it will reduce a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings. Then we'll be able to get along better, don't you think so?"
"You're right."Qin Yao smiled plainly.
"I know what it is you want now, and what I want, you should know as well. So, you'll help me, won't you?"Gu Yan looked at Qin Yao, his eyes piercing almost as if he could look right through him.
Qin Yao's eyes were still on Gu Yan for a moment, then he suddenly broke out in a soft chuckle, "Of course, I'll help you. As long as it's your wish, I will do it."
Gu Yan's lips raised into a smile and a sharp light flashed through his eyes.
Qin Yao did not let go of the pleasure in Gu Yan's eyes. The two were very close to each other, and Gu Yan's lightly tinted lips were curled into a faint angle, appearing both beautiful and alluring, as if he could touch them if he just leaned forward a little bit.
Without hesitation, he went forward and blocked off Gu Yan's lips, lightly nibbling on them with his teeth.
"I strongly agree with your proposal, and I believe we can 'get along' very well."Qin Yao's voice was deep, and in the night, the hoarseness of his voice brought a sense of ambiguity.
Gu Yan glared at him in disbelief, how dare this bastard! And this was the second time! He brought up his hand abruptly, ready to hit Qin Yao, but his hand was caught by Qin Yao as soon as he raised it. Qin Yao's grip on his wrist was quite strong, and lifting him, he threw him to the sofa. A leg curved over by his side, supporting him as he pressed down on his chin, deepening their kiss.
The kiss was intimate and lingering, at the same time, there was a strong sense of aggression that was hard to ignore. Strong enough that he found it hard to reject him.
After a long time, Qin Yao slowly raised his lips. But even so, he did not let go of Gu Yan's hand, continuing to shroud him under his body. His shadow landed on Gu Yan's face, making his expression seem even darker. Qin Yao looked at the dangerous look of coldness and anger on his face, and suddenly broke out in a chuff, "Didn't you just say you knew what I want earlier? Besides, weren't you the one who wanted to cooperate, and wanted me to help you out? I'm just accepting I'm due from this deal. Why are you making that face now?"
Gu Yan glared at him. He wished he could just tear this damned human into pieces right now.
"Oh...... I almost forgot. I said I just wanted to see you live a good life. However......"Qin Yao's eyes showed a hint of mocking, "You're a smart man, what a hypocritical and selfish person like me really wants...... You should be able to guess, no?"
"Of course you know."Qin Yao said coldly, "You need my help, and you're afraid that I'll get in your way, so if you could, you'd rather kill me, but you're not an opponent for me. So, you figured you could just make a deal with some sweet-sounding promises, so I'll do your work for you. So, am I really that stupid to you? Do you think I wouldn't realize what you were trying to do?"
Gu Yan's eyes changed. That was indeed what he had planned, because he figured Qin Yao could not bear to kill him even if he knew.
"I'm angry...... But no matter how you try to cheat me, or use me, I still can't bring myself to hurt you, and there's no way you don't know that."Qin Yao touched Gu Yan's face gently with the tips of his fingers, as if he was touching a precious treasure, "You've planned everything so well, but for you to take me as a fool won't be the best idea now, would it?"
Gu Yan wanted to laugh, but he really couldn't do it under this situation. He looked coldly at Qin Yao, "Now don't you know everything? Nobody here's taking you as a fool."
Qin Yao laughed and looked at him with jeering eyes, "That's because I said it. But it's fine...... This is not important. What's important is that you must understand that a person like me would definitely not do something unconditionally. So, if you want my help, of course you'll have to offer me something in return. This is reasonable isn't it?"
Gu Yan's cold expression was stiffened on his face. He narrowed his eyes, "I thought about it, and you know what, it doesn't matter even if you don't help me."
Qin Yao seemed to have thought about what he said for a moment, then he spoke in a carefree manner, "Sure."His piercing eyes swept through Gu Yan from the top to the bottom, "Sure enough, you're a demon without any conviction, you change your mind faster than I can flip the pages of a book."
"I'll take that as a compliment."Gu Yan smiled, but it was only skin-deep, "Can you let me go now?"
Qin Yao stared at his lips, and his throat bobbed for a moment, but he smiled and stood up.
Gu Yan turned around and was immediately ready to leave. He can't stay here any longer!
He should've been the one with the upper hand, but why did things suddenly turn around like this? Forget it, he had no time to think about this.
Qin Yao did not move either. He watched Gu Yan's leaving figure and commented frankly:"That kiss was delicious, I think it's worth enough for me to avoid making any trouble for you for three days."
"What, did, you, say!"Gu Yan stopped walking and turned back abruptly.
"Why are you so surprised?"Qin Yao looked at Gu Yan like an eagle eyeing its prey, "I've waited a thousand years for you, and I finally get to see you, have you never thought about comforting me at all? Did you think that was enough? Even though I can't bring myself to do anything to you, I still won't let those other inferior demons under you go."
"Kill them if you want, did you really think I'd care about them?"Gu Yan's words seemed to have come through gritted teeth.
"I guessed you wouldn't, I was just making a simple example."Qin Yao grinned, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, "But living in the human world as a demon has to be inconvenient somehow, isn't that so? There's a lot of ways I can make it hard for you."
"Let's see you try."Gu Yan shot back at him coldly.
"Mm."Qin Yao nodded with a smile. He continued with a deep and gentle tone, "That's right, if you ever feel like continuing your proposal, I'd be happy to accept at any time. As long as it's something you want, you know I'd definitely never refuse you."
Gu Yan stared at him. After a moment, he scoffed at him.
Then, he turned around and left without any hesitation.
Qin Yao stared at the direction where Gu Yan left, and stayed motionless for a long time.
He was the only one left here again. Raising his hand, he covered his eyes, and a soft laugh started to spill from the depths of his throat. The way his laugh went off and on sounded very strange, and instead of calling it a laugh, it would be better referred to as a painful cry.
Why did things have to come to this?
Is this what he wanted?
Or perhaps...... This was the punishment he deserved?
..............................
Gu Yan walked out from Qin Yao's villa and all the anger faded from his face. Once more, his unperturbed expression returned.
He was surprised, but not very much so at the same time.
One of the things within his expectations were Qin Yao's feelings towards him. Actually, he had already figured this out when Qin Yao walked in on him and Wang Duo, but he was only sure about it later on. What went out of his expectations was Qin Yao's choice. He could have chosen to get along with him in a more gentle way, but he just had to choose the destructive way. Where did he go wrong?
Gu Yan thought about it carefully. Perhaps it started when he mentioned the cooperation.
He was actually quite happy to learn that Qin Yao had let that demon go. This human could not tell right from wrong, as long as he led him right, he would not have to worry about him not listening to him. He knows his identity, and always listens to what he says. Things should have gone very smoothly, but he ended up angering him instead.
Gu Yan massaged his temples.
He could feel the numbness of his lips. That feeling from their touch earlier had yet to fully subside.
Gu Yan recalled that scene, and a look of murder rose up immediately within his eyes. He knew that this human longed to have him, but longing to have someone and putting a hand on them were two separate things.
His degree of tolerance between the two of them were also different.
Gu Yan decided not to think about this for now. After returning, he successfully progressed finished the shooting of the very last scene in the movie.
Then, he received the notice for him to attend the awards ceremony. 《Sins of the Heart》 had received double its harvest just from word of mouth recommendations alone, and was shortlisted for a number of awards. Included was his best newcomer reward, and he had a very high chance of getting it.
Gu Yan did not really want to attend. Ever since his identity had been exposed, this sort of thing had become increasingly meaningless to him. But he couldn't stand Xu Ming's continued persuasion, and he could not stop himself from wondering about what Qin Yao was going to do next. He felt stressed from all this trouble, so he ended up deciding to go at the very end. He would just use this as a chance to pass time.
There was no news of any movement from Qin Yao these two days, but Gu Yan knew that he would not give up that easily.
On the night of the award ceremony, Gu Yan showed up in a timely manner.
He grouped up with Director Zou and the crew, and sat quite close to the front. On his left was the male protagonist Jiang Cheng, and on his right was one of the other supporting female actors. She was also a senior first-rate actress.
Lights flashed in the venue and the place was noisy. Gu Yan watched the stage absent-mindedly when the actress sitting by his side looked over at him, and smiled:"You don't seem nervous at all."
"There's nothing to be worried about."Gu Yan raised a brow.
The actress smiled, "I really can't compare with you. When I was nominated for the first time, I was so nervous I thought I'd die, how could I be as calm as you? This really isn't the type of calmness people would generally have."She complimented him cheerfully. Hearing that Gu Yan had come from a special family background, she figured that he probably entered the entertainment industry for fun.
"Thank you for the compliment."Gu Yan smiled, then he turned back to watch the stage.
Soon after, the receiver for the best newcomer award was to be announced. Firstly, edited scenes of five different movies were broadcasted on the big screen. Finally, when the audience was waiting on bated breaths, the host announced that the winner was Gu Yan for 《Sins of the Heart》!
The audience applauded loudly, but GU Yan did not feel surprised at all as he stood up.
How boring.
He went up the stage and gave the routinely thanks. Holding the trophy, he looked down the stage. Below the stage was a sea of people, and this feeling of looking down on all of them from high above was not a bad feeling at all. He could not help but wonder which one of these people in this crowd actually liked him, which ones hated him despite putting up a false front, and also which ones did not care at all. Thinking about it, he could not help but laugh that he actually wondered what his food was thinking about.
But this...... This was not completely unnecessary, was it? Perhaps he was always too lazy to even think about what were in these humans' minds, so he always ended up bringing trouble to himself.
Gu Yan went down the stage with the trophy in hand, and his mind had been occupied the whole time he walked back. Until finally, when he went back to his seat, he found that the person who sat beside him was now someone else. The seat occupied by the female actress was now replaced with Wang Duo. Dressed in a steel-gray suit, his entire look was very formal. He even had a bow tie around his neck, appearing less arrogant, and more mature than usual.
Wang Duo watched as Gu Yan walked back and put down his long legs that had been crossed over each other, allowing him to take his seat. In a cheerful tone, he greeted, "Long time no see."
| ← Ch. 80 | Ch. 82 → |