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| ← Ch.058 | Ch.060 → |
"I want you to stop teasing me now. Especially, demanding kisses, holding my hand and dragging me near in front of others. Please."
"Why?"
Edgar wasn't laughing now. He asked again, "Why should I stop?"
"It's, it's not good. People get the wrong idea."
"Rubica, you and I are married. We are not single. It's not bad to have others think we are close."
Well, Rubica had nothing to say to that. She narrowed her eyes and looked at the man who was staring at her and her heart started to beat fast again. Sexy black hair and ascetic blue eyes underneath it. She didn't know if he was doing it on purpose or he was just born that way, but he looked so drowsy now. That combination was just too much. It was wrong.
Edgar could sense Rubica was staring at him in a daze again. He liked it when she looked at him like that as it somehow gave him confidence.
'... but thinking about it... '
It hurt his pride, but Rubica sometimes looked that way at other things as well. Moreover, those things were all called beautiful. Edgar soon reached a logical conclusion.
"Do you like pretty things?"
"What? What?"
Rubica barely managed not to jump to her feet. No one had realized she had a great love for beauty. Actually, she was quite childish for her age, but she knew how to act calm and people were fooled by that. And now, Edgar was seeing through her true nature. Rubica stammered for being revealed so suddenly which made Edgar feel good. That reaction was practically an acknowledgment.
"No?"
"... yes."
"That can't be good."
"What do you mean?"
Rubica stared at Edgar. He shrugged, he didn't mind her gaze and smiled. That smile was unearthly beautiful under the dim candlelight.
"I'm beautiful."
Huh. There was a man who could actually say that with his own mouth? But as that man was Edgar, it had a point.
"Don't worry. There's no way I'll fall in love with you."
"How can you be so sure?"
Edgar sounded sure Rubica would fall in love with him, and she wondered if he was indeed the smartest man in the Seritos Kingdom.
"Of course, you are beautiful. I admit that, but it doesn't mean I must love you."
"I don't understand. Most women in the kingdom want my love, and those who don't, either have an extremely strange taste or have no sense of beauty."
Rubica didn't have a strange taste and had a good sense of beauty. Edgar thought it was only a matter of time. She was going to love him, and when that happened, he was going to tease this cute woman just as much as she had tormented him.
"Edgar, look at the flower in that vase. Pretty, isn't it?"
"Don't try to change the topic."
"But will you willingly suffer to see that flower bloom? For example, if you were in a desert and had only one bottle of water, would you give it to the flower instead of drinking it yourself?"
"I don't know what you are trying to say."
Rubica smiled awkwardly.
"That's what loving someone means. I am happy when he smiles even if I am in great pain. The world seems so miserable when he is sad even if I am so happy and comfortable. I can do anything for him but, at the same time, I worry it might be too much for him... that's love."
Edgar raised an eyebrow, but Rubica continued.
"Of course, the flower is beautiful. I want to be near it, watch it, and have it. However, I cannot sacrifice everything I have for it. Look. It has been picked and put in a vase. Edgar, that isn't love. That is the desire to own. Liking pretty things and love are two different things."
Each word she said created a wave in Edgar's heart, and his smile disappeared. He then looked at the flower.
"... really?"
"Yes."
They wanted to be near him, watch him, and have him. But they didn't care about how much he would be hurt because of it. They didn't care about his mood. They got mad at him because he didn't like them and didn't want to be with them. They didn't care if he was busy or bothered. They followed him and demanded to be given his attention.
"Then I..."
He smiled coldly.
"Have never been loved."
He sounded so sad and lonely. He had been always confident, therefore Rubica was surprised to see him look so bitter. Had never been loved... it couldn't be true, at least for Edgar. There were always people who wanted him around him. There had to be at least ten who truly loved him among them.
"Edgar, that's not..."
However, Edgar got up and left the room before she could say more.
***
It had been a week since Rubica started living as the Duchess in the Claymore Mansion. She didn't know everything about the household yet. There were so many things she had to know and memorize, like the budgets, anniversaries to be celebrated, and traditions that had been in the family for generations. Fortunately, she had gotten used to her routine as the duchess. She wasn't afraid of morning meetings anymore. Now there were no relatives who came to bother her about money anymore.
She met some relatives who had come a long way to greet the new duchess in the reception room, and they didn't come empty-handed. One even brought preserved plums that Rubica liked very much.
"We are glad to see His Grace married such a kind lady. We are relieved. Soon this mansion will be filled with laughter."
The family was the last visitors of the day. They smiled happily and spoke kindly, but Rubica was disappointed at seeing the red-haired girl standing next to Mrs. Cornwell.
'When will my fairy come?'
She could only smile brightly to hide her disappointment.
"Thank you. As I am still not good enough, please give me lots of advice from now on."
Mr. and Mrs. Cornwell were delighted to hear Rubica speak modestly. They advised her about the living of the family and specialties that were produced in the domain in the season. Rubica listened to all that very carefully and didn't forget to offer them presents for the journey and good wine when they left.
"Then may peace be in your family..."
And the moment they left the porch, her smiled vanished. She had been smiling all morning that her face muscles were now trembling. Some said the duchess's life was so comfortable as the only thing to be done was to meet people, but actually, it was filled with hard labor.
There were so many things to care about, like if there was anything that could be pointed out, if the food was enough, and if the gifts were right. The most difficult part was that she had to greet strangers, but she was good enough to be their close relative even though she had just come to the mansion and was unfamiliar with the place and her duties.
'Ugh, I wish I could scream. '
She had not avoided morning meetings because she was eagerly waiting for someone. However, that fairy she had seen at the wedding feast didn't come. Had it been only a mirage that she saw on that day?
'Judging from where she was seated, she has to be a relative living in one of the annexes. But she hasn't come to meet me even today, there must be something wrong... '
There were some dependent lodgers among relatives who lived in the annexes, but others handled important things like the family's businesses, education, and religious events.
They had come to meet Rubica faster than anyone else. Even children who had no Claymore blood but were being sponsored by the family because of their talents and potentials had visited her.
"Madam, Mrs. Shaynie is here."
Her again? The fairy she was desperately waiting for wasn't coming, but the unwanted guest was here again.
Mrs. Shaynie came to visit Rubica every day as if it were one of her main duties. Moreover, she gave a speech on the family's traditions and manners. Rubica really wanted to kick her out, but even the duchess couldn't kick a visitor out without good reason. Rubica had no choice to but have Mrs. Shaynie brought to her.
"Your Grace, I must talk about the manners you should keep when you have an audience with the king."
And she started to give a speech as soon as she sat down...
Rubica had to hold back a sigh. Why was Mrs. Shaynie doing that? Rubica had told her she didn't want etiquette lessons on the first day. As she was planning to come and go like a wandering breeze, she didn't care about the dignity she had as the duchess. Studying manners was a waste of time. She would rather take a walk.
"Right now, the Claymore Family and crown prince are in a good relationship. If you ask to be introduced to the crown princess when you go to the capital..."
She went on babbling about things Rubica really didn't want to know. She had already kicked her out by saying she had a headache and had to see the doctor. What kind of excuse should she use today? She was thinking hard on it when Ann quietly asked.
"Your Grace, should I bring refreshments?"
Rubica could almost hear a bell ring in her head. Why hadn't she thought of it herself? She could eat something and say she had a stomachache and make a fuss about it. Mrs. Shaynie would have no choice but to leave if Ann called the doctor.
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