novel
| ← Ch.30 | Ch.32 → |
When we arrived at one of the restaurants in Seoul and the food I ordered was placed in front of me, I threw away all my suspicions and picked up my fork. JiHan, who was sitting across from me, was checking his cell phone, not even remotely aware of what I suspected him of doing to me. There had been no greater meaning behind his new golden hairdo. Finally able to relax, decided to appease my burning curiosity.
"Why did you decide to dye your hair all of a sudden?"
JiHan, still concentrating on his phone, grabbed the fork and pointed it at his head.
"So you will see me as gold."
His response was completely unexpected. Who would've guessed that was the reason? I sure didn't. Maybe someone else might have, but I definitely would not have thought up such a reason. How is that even a valid reason? To see him as gold. Is he telling me to treat him like a precious metal?
I watched him in silence, exasperated. He frowned as if in deep thought and continued to stare at his phone. He moved his lips but no words came out.
"Na AhJung. How much space do you have on the wall over your vanity?" he asked suddenly.
"I'm not sure."
At my answer, JiHan rubbed his forehead as if unable to solve a difficult problem.
"There isn't any more space other than there..." he muttered to himself.
"Space for what?" I asked him, but Lee JiHan waved me off.
"You'll see it later."
Oh, what is he looking at so intently?
Curiosity getting the best of me, I stretched my neck as far as it could go with the fork still in my mouth to try to catch a glimpse of what he was looking at. It looked like a picture. JiHan suddenly lifted the phone closer to his face. Then, as if writing a text message, he started to type with both hands. Finally he put down his phone and looked at me, smiling.
"Na AhJung, do you remember your day off?"
I cocked my head quizzically at the unusual question.
"Of course I remember it. It's only been a week."
"Remember how I said it would be a miracle for me to go on a trip with you. Well, that miracle just happened."
What's he getting at.
I ran through my memory of that day and our conversation from that afternoon rang in my ears.
Is us going on a trip such a horrible thing to you? To you? You have to realize how horrible it would be for me!
What?
Me going on a trip with you, even if you begged me to, it is one miracle that will never happen so don't even get upset about it.
It's not that it offends me. I... how could I possibly even dream that? Trust me, I was only proving my innocence in ever thinking of such a thing. I was not offended by it at all! If that kind of miracle happened, it would be the best surprise ever. If there was a day that happened, I would write about it in my diary. I would mark it as an anniversary and every year remember it. How could you forget a dream?
After returning from my flashback, I nodded at Lee JiHan.
"Yes, that's right. It's today is a miracle."
"Then you have to keep your promise, " JiHan said as he pointed to my lips.
"You don't mean... you want me to write about today's miracle in my diary?"
"You have to mark it as an anniversary and remember it every year."
"Oh, of course! Of course I will."
With a quick wit, I agreed heartily and even put up my fists to show him my determination. Lee JiHan continued as he cut his steak with his knife.
"I will check if you remember the anniversary next year, and if you wrote it in your diary, tomorrow."
I never imagined a day like this would actually come, and I never imagined I would have to keep a promise that I had thrown around without much thought. Feeling defeated but feigning happiness, I made a circle instead of a heart with my hands.
"Yes, of course I will do that. I should stop by a supply store on the way home so I can buy a diary. Wow... I can't believe something I never dreamed of happening actually occurred. I will cherish my diary everyday so I'll buy an especially pretty one."
Jihan must have approved of my reaction because he started to eat with a look of content on his face.
30 years old and I have to get my journal entry homework graded.
I started my meal, crying inside.
***
Hugging my new diary, I returned to the apartment with Lee JiHan. Because our rooms were across from each other, we walked next to each other through the hallway until we both stopped at the same place. At the point where both our rooms met. Without thinking much, I left JiHan behind me, opened my door and flipped on the switch.
When the lights lit up the room, the first thing that caught my eye was the new audio set. That much was expected so my gaze only fell on it momentarily. But when I turned to my wall, I found it filled with huge picture frames.
"What the... ?"
They had not been there before, nor had they ever been mentioned, so I stared at them in awe. Other than the walls with the window and the built in closet, the entire room was filled with the frames. Every inch of it. Even the space of wall above the vanity had frames littered across it. In every single one was a picture of me.
At first I wasn't sure if it was me or not, but upon closer inspection, each person in the pictures was indeed me. Evidently, all the pictures seemed to be of me at the amusement park.
"Oh my, what is all this?" I asked Lee JiHan in astonishment.
He'd already stepped into my room.
"What do you think this is? It's your pictures, " he said as if this should be obvious.
As if enjoying a piece of art, he gazed around the room.
"I hired a photographer yesterday and he took about a thousand pictures of you today. Out of the thousand, I chose 20 to hang up in frames."
"A thousand!?"
"I have the rest in a file. You can take a look at it and let me know if there are other ones you like better. I chose these personally. They might just look pretty in my eyes."
"What did you just say?"
Ignoring my alarm, JiHan continued looking around at the pictures, then placed his hand on top of my head.
"In my eyes, these pictures looked the prettiest, that's what I'm saying."
His large hand squeezed the top of my head. He articulated each word as he spoke.
"Let them sink in because these are good words."
It was already sinking into my brain even without him reminding me, it had been such a shock.
Has he gone crazy?
I trembled as a combination of shock and fear washed over me.
"I'll let you see the file tomorrow. You should wash up, write your diary entry, then go to sleep, " he instructed, letting go of my head and patting it adoringly.
I looked up at JiHan with fear filled eyes, not knowing what I was supposed to do. He looked down at me with a kind, almost sweet face, smiling from ear to ear. A smile to rival his glittering golden hair.
JiHan had transformed to a golden Buddha overnight. I, on the other hand, had become a stone Buddha and was unable to move. Even after Lee JiHan had left, I remained rooted to the spot.
***
Lee JiHan
I finished breakfast, then went to Na AhJung's room, sat at the tea table and opened up her diary. Across from me, AhJung was in front of a laptop. A new laptop I had bought for her that was filled with a thousand pictures of her. I stopped reading her diary for a moment to sneak a glance at her. I was curious to see her reaction to the pictures that I had so lovingly looked through.
With her face propped up against her hands, AhJung smiled widely as she looked through the pictures in fascination. It was like she was unable to believe that this was her.
"You look like you've just fallen in love with yourself, " I said.
AhJung flinched at my words and blushed furiously.
"Uh, no I haven't! It's not that, it's just the pictures came out so nice, unlike me. It's like I'm a different person."
"They did come out nicely, but they are exactly like you. That is the type of person you are."
"No way. I don't look like this."
"You had on no makeup and wore comfortable clothes yesterday. You didn't know there was a camera. All these pictures were taken like this, candid and natural."
"It was taken naturally but probably photoshopped before he sent it to us. It's practically plastic surgery."
"In my eyes, that face is this face, " I told AhJung pointing first at the laptop, then to her face.
"Really?" she asked with her eyes wide."When I look in the mirror, it doesn't seem to look like this."
"That's because your eyes have a serious illness."
"What? Illness? What illness?"
"You always look at yourself as if you're worse than others. That's an illness. Fix it, " I demanded.
AhJung seemed unable to understand the reasoning behind my words and so she lowered her gaze and tilted her head.
"I didn't put those pictures up on your wall for no reason. I want you to look at those pictures and tell yourself 'that's me, that's me. ' If you still don't get it, just memorize it until it gets engraved in your head."
I hit the tea table with my palm as I emphasized my words.
"Do you understand?" I asked strictly.
"Yes, I... I understand, " she stammered.
Content with her response, I lowered my gaze back to the diary. I finally started to read her diary entry.
X, X. Sunny.
I went to the amusement park today. Mister went with me. I rode all the rides there. I even got to experience the safari. I had lots of fun. Going to the amusement park with Mister, it's like a miracle. It was a really, really fun day.
"What is this? It sounds like an elementary student wrote it, " I asked annoyed.
AhJung blushed and scratched her head in embarrassment.
"I felt like I returned back to my childhood yesterday so I wrote it channeling my inner child."
"Your inner child? Ha! And why does this child suddenly have Alzheimers?"
"What?"
"After the safari, at approximately 2:40pm, I bought you cotton candy. Why is that not in here?"
"Oh, that."
"And you forgot to include the part where I held your hand every time we rode a scary ride."
"That's..."
"And for lunch, I let you choose whatever you wanted to eat. Do you know how much I had to endure eating that horrid fast food? Why is all of that not in here?" I pointed all this out without giving AhJung a chance to interrupt."Not just that, but there are a number of things you forgot to include in here. Why did you do that? Why? Did you forget it?"
"No, of course not. I remember everything, I do." Flustered, AhJung waved her hands around anxiously.
"You remember everything but you didn't write it down? You didn't forget it by accident but you left it out on purpose?"
"No, if you say it like that, then it sounds bad! I didn't do it with bad intentions. Uh... I remember it but I forgot to write it down! I'll write it in right now."
AhJung ran to the desk, grabbed a pen, and ran back to the tea table. She took back the diary and started to write. On a whole new page, starting from the date. Other than the newly written date and weather, the first line remained the same as before.
I went to the amusement park today. Mister went with me.
I stopped her at the first line, pointing at the second sentence.
"Why do you name me as Mister?"
"I always call you Mister. You said you didn't like young master, and really didn't like me calling you by name. I mean, hated it. That's what you told me so that's why I call you Mister."
"Calling me by name is..."
I was going to say "better" but a different thought popped into my head and so I stopped mid-sentence. Originally the word mister was used to indicate men under the rank of knighthood. I would be her knight in shining armour.
"Okay. Mister. We'll continue as is."
I nodded and gave her permission to continue using the term. Then, with my arms crossed, I stared at her diary. AhJung continued to write. I made sure she didn't miss a single event from yesterday's outing. Like a teacher watching a student take an exam, I watched diligently as she wrote, interrupting from time to time, demanding revisions or additions.
***
Finally, Na AhJung completed the version of her diary entry that met my criteria. An hour had already passed. In that time, there was one thing that I hoped for.
At my okay sign, AhJung closed the diary proudly with an expression of satisfaction. She then got up from her seat hugging the diary. Watching that, I ordered her to fulfill my wish.
"AhJung, from now on, you will continue to write in that diary everyday. I'm going to check it each day."
The diary that she had been embracing slipped away from her and fell to the floor with a thud. With an expression that looked like she'd lost all hope, she looked at me in dismay. I did not take back my words however, and instead changed the subject.
"Now, bring me all your bags."
"My bags? Why?"
"I've brought ten talismans so your luck will get better. I will place one in each bag."
"I only have one bag. The one I always carry around, " she said pointing at the cross bag lying on the desk.
"That's the only one?" I asked incredulously, first looking at the cross bag, then back at AhJung.
"Oh, there is one more bag that JiKyung bought me. Last time, when you first saw me at JiKyung's house, you saw it in the living room and made such a fuss over it."
"That still means you only have two."
The situation was so unexpected, I was taken aback but it wasn't a difficult fix so I brushed it off and stood up.
"To match the number of talismans, we'll go buy eight more bags."
Content with finding a simple solution, I grabbed AhJung's wrist. To make the solution into a reality, I dragged her out of her room.
| ← Ch. 30 | Ch. 32 → |