novel
| ← Ch.89 | Ch.91 → |
"Damn you."As soon as Gu Yan's voice rung out, his left hand was suddenly around Qin Yao's throat!
His fingers tightened into a grip as strong as steel!
Gu Yan knew very well how strong he was. For him to grab him so forcefully like this, don't even mention the throat of a human, even the hardest of rocks could be turned into dust!
Gu Yan's face was expressionless.
But his heart was not calm at all.
Was he going to kill Qin Yao again? That time...... He regretted it, when he nearly killed Qin Yao. And now, was he going to do it again? It was not his intention this time, but he could not control himself.
Gu Yan kept his eyes still on Qin Yao. So...... resist me.
Fight back, kill me, you know what to do. There is no reason for you to put your life on the line for a demon like me, you knew it long ago, I am not that human from the past anymore.
The me of now is just a demon who did not have any control of myself.
In a moment, many thoughts ran through Gu Yan's mind. But he had just completed the movement of his hands!
Grabbing onto him was like grabbing onto a copper wall, even his fingers had gone numb. Qin Yao grabbed Gu Yan's wrist as if he was nearly going to break his wrists, but then, slowly...... He pulled it down.
Qin Yao looked at Gu Yan with dead eyes, and his thin lips were pressed into a straight line.
Gu Yan laughed in his heart. This was the first time he was glad he was no match for Qin Yao, he could not kill him.
Thank god, thank god he couldn't do it.
Qin Yao was perhaps the only person who could escape from death time and time again in this way. If this was someone else, they would have died god knows how many times over, and he might not even have the time to feel any regret. Even more impossible was for him to have the chance to have the same situation he did now, to understand his own heart.
He was very grateful to Qin Yao that he was able to be so sober about the things he wanted, and not like some muddle-headed demon......
He would rather be a human, but unfortunately, he was no longer one.
There was no way for Gu Yan to speak, but if he was able to, he would have wanted for Qin Yao to liberate him.
He was too naive, they both were.
He thought that walking out from that pain, and forgetting all those past hatreds meant he had been liberated...... But how could it have been so easy? Ever since he stepped into the demon world, he was no longer himself. He was just a demon who knew nothing but hatred. And now...... He could not even control himself, even his soul was under the restraints of someone else. How could he liberate himself from such an existence? There was no way to do it, besides his death.
If a demon dies, then that was the end of the line for them. Their spirit will disperse, there was no rebirth for them. So, if he died, there will be nothing that could hold him down anymore.
Thinking about this, Gu Yan even felt himself rather lucky. This time, he would really be able to die.
Or at least, it was not hopeless.
It was just a pity that the existence that was controlling his body clearly did not wish to continue angering Qin Yao, and leading this body to its demise. Therefore, he did not resist him, allowing Qin Yao to grab hold of his hands without moving.
Gu Yan felt a little regretful that Qin Yao would actually decide not to kill a person like him, who had tried time and time again without any repentance to take his life.
Recalling the thing that was possibly controlling him now, Gu Yan was worried. After all, Qin Yao was ignorant to this fact, allowing him to stay by his side now was too dangerous. Next time, he may not be as lucky as this. After all, one would have to face once a thousand days, who would have to face a thief every day for a thousand days! Leaving such a dangerous demon that was constantly wishing for his death was practically playing with fire.
It was just rather unfortunate that Gu Yan could not say a single word.
The carnage outside was becoming intense as the corpses of several human cultivators flew in, while demons with their claws brandished were rushing towards Qin Yao! Qin Yao snorted and a spell of golden energy shot out in the shape of a rope, wrapping Gu Yan up like a present before he turned to face them.
This man and his sword proved himself unmatched on the battlefield, as the demons fell like cut grass wherever the silver sword flew! The dismembered bodies of the demons and the humans turned the place into a hellscape. Gradually, the remaining demons realized they could not compete with the humans, even their leader Gu Yan had been subdued, thus they all left in lightning speed!
Qin Yao did not chase after them. He returned to Gu Yan and sent a chop right behind his neck, hitting him unconscious.
..............................
By the time Gu Yan woke up, they were already in a different place.
It was very familiar here, and thinking about it for a moment, he recalled. This place was Qin Yao's manor. After he had fainted on the streets that day, this was where Qin Yao brought him.
He moved his fingers a little and found that he had regained control of his body once more, but he still could not move. The was bound pretty tightly by the golden rope.
He laughed, why bother? It would've been much more easy to just off him.
With Qin Yao's character and abilities, he was originally a person with less restraint than he did, but he still wasted time on an incorrigible demon like him.
Just because he saved him in his last life.
Human beings are truly fools worth being moved over, it was just a pity that the current Gu Yan could not really feel it. He just felt tired, he wanted to rest. No matter whether he was human or demon, his life had never been easy, it was quite sad.
So...... He did not wish to try hard anymore, he did not want to hold on anymore.
Gu Yan lay there staring at the ceiling without any attempt to struggle. He did not want to think about those unnecessary things anymore.
As he stared, he started to daydream.
It was a very pleasant feeling to vacate your thoughts, he had just never thought about it before. When he was a human, he would always need to think about many people, and do many things. After he turned into a demon, the thoughts that replaced his mind were now how he was going to continue living. Then...... he thought about how to occupy the human world. He had never thought about taking a rest, his two lifetimes had been way too busy.
But truthfully, why? He should have died in his last life, why would he allow himself to fall into this life because of something as ridiculous as hate?
But he had realized too late. If he could have found out earlier, would he perhaps not have turned into this?
Gu Yan's head buzzed with pain. He thought about many things, but he still could not remember how he had turned into a demon.
But it was no longer important, the results have already been decided. Even if he remembered why he chose this road in the first place, what could he do with that knowledge? What could he change?
He would just disappoint himself even further.
The creak of the door opening was heard.
Gu Yan slowly turned his head over. Qin Yao came in dressed in black clothes that contrasted his pale skin. With an indifferent expression, he started to walk towards Gu Yan and stopped just a few steps away.
He looked at Gu Yan for a long time, and as if he had just mustered up the courage, he started to walk closer to him.
"I'm sorry."Qin Yao apologized.
Gu Yan could not help widening his eyes in surprise, not at all concealing his confusion. Qin Yao was apologizing to him? Why? Should he not be the one to apologize instead?
Qin Yao kneeled down on one leg in front of Gu Yan as his eyes focused on him. As usual, his voice was stiff and wooden as if he was reciting from a book, "I'm sorry, I could not open the passage for you."
"I'm sorry, I should not have hidden my own intentions. No matter what you turn into, I have actually never once abandoned you, you are always the best in my heart. The you right now, the you of the past, they're all you. Even if you have not remembered me, I've already fallen for you again."
"I just wished that you would not have to have such a bitter life, I thought that this wasn't what you wanted, that you've just forgotten."
"I thought that as long as you remembered, you would do the right thing. Because only you when you are complete knows what you really want, and I didn't want you to regret what you've done one day. Running away is never the solution to a problem."
"I would rather bear all the pain for myself than have you regret anything."
"But now, I know your decision...... I told you at the very beginning that as long as it was your decision, whether you wanted to turn the world around or make yourself an enemy to the world, I would not care. I will help you with whatever it is you want to do."
"I was serious."
"But, I'm sorry...... I couldn't do it."
"Because no matter what it is, nothing is more important than your life."
Qin Yao clenched his hands into fists, but he released them. Putting on a pale smile, he continued, "You must be very angry, I said so many hypocritical things to you, but in the end, I still went against your wishes."
"But I will not change my decision."
Gu Yan frowned. Things really were not in a good position right now, Qin Yao's decisions have indeed went against his desires, but now it seems like there will be no room to manoeuvre around that firm decision of his.
And not for him to open the channel, it was how he wanted him to live no matter what. If Qin Yao wanted to keep him alive, who could kill him?
Not only was he unhappy with living, it was also very dangerous and unstable, Qin Yao was being too irrational right now.
He had to find a way to change his mind.
Gu Yan thought about it, and could not help himself from being tongue-tied. He had already gone this far but Qin Yao was still unwilling to kill him, what else could he do? What he had done prior to this was already way overboard, he really could not think about anything worse than that.
It really was difficult having to deal with a stubborn person like Qin Yao.
Gu Yan was too lazy to even say anything anymore.
Fortunately, Qin Yao seems to have his eyes tight on him temporarily, he did not plan to let him out to cause a disaster. He still had time to think about it slowly.
After a while, he would eventually find it troublesome, wouldn't he?
If you were to say he still had hope in the past, perhaps, going through such hopeless days might be even more difficult for Qin Yao.
Gu Yan put on a cold smile, ready to rouse his disgust for the day, "Heh, so you know how much of a hypocrite you are too, do you? Shouldn't only one of us be allowed to stay alive in our situation? Since you've decided to let me live, when are you going to kill yourself?"
He did not know why, but when he said this, his heart felt pained. But Gu Yan endured it, he had endured so much pain, what was this to him?
Qin Yao's face had clearly paled even further. He hesitated for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle, "It will happen someday."
Gu Yan turned his eyes away, he could not continue the rest of his words anymore. There were a lot more vicious words he could have said, but it felt like his tongue had tied itself into a knot in his mouth, he could not open his mouth. He was really very selfish, not at all the same as he was in the past. For the sake of his own happiness, he was able to hurt another person in such a way.
But in truth...... It was better for the pain to come out in a short burst than to suffer for a long time; instead of tormenting each other in this way, why couldn't they just free each other?
A sparkle emerged in Gu Yan's eyes, he seems to have understood something.
Everything Qin Yao had done had been for him. For the sake of his continued survival, if he tried to have a normal conversation with Qin Yao, telling him properly what it was he wanted the most, would Qin Yao fulfil his wishes?
He had done so many sinful things, but he had never thought of begging anyone.
Perhaps, Qin Yao would be willing to fulfil his deepest wishes, wouldn't he?
Or perhaps, this request may be very cruel to him. But the Gu Yan of now had no way of restraining such an impulse.
"Qin Yao, I have something to say to you."Gu Yan turned back to him again, looking at him with serious eyes.
A glimmer emerged in Qin Yao's eyes before it quickly disappeared. He looked at Gu Yan silently.
Gu Yan paused for a moment, but opening his mouth, he was ready to speak his mouth. But suddenly, he lost his control again! Losing control of his body in an instant, Gu Yan was now like a spectator, watching as he opened his mouth in such a stiff manner:"Don't you know? I love you too."
| ← Ch. 89 | Ch. 91 → |