novelI Can Change
| ← Ch.219 | Ch.221 → |
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Sparkling, translucent teardrops began streaking across Bai Wu's cheek; they fell silently onto the floor. It was like a thousand catties worth of force smashing into Xu Lan's heart and destroying it beyond recognition. He stared inanimately at the profusely-tearing Bai Wu.
"I- I did that for your good, " Xu Lan explained hoarsely.
"I know it's for my good. Papa's always considerate toward me, and Papa even wanted to find a girlfriend for me! But have you ever considered how I feel?" Akin to the lamentable groan of a dragon, Bai Wu asked disappointedly.
"They all said I've never given you a sense of security. Is that true?" Xu Lan questioned uneasily.
"Yes! Never! Never have you ever! You blindly impose upon me what you think is best for me, but you not once have you considered whether it was something I really wanted! Xu Lan, I'm no longer your son, I'm your lover! We are equals!"
Bai Wu roared hysterically at Xu Lan. It was the first time Xu Lan saw him react that way.
"What should I do then?" Xu Lan trembled as he took the cigarette from his ear. He tried lighting it a few times but was unable to do so.
"Can you not be so rational? Just depend on me a bit more, trust in me a bit more, and show your love for me a bit more. Just a bit more will do..." Bai Wu raised his head up and wept in sorrowful desperation.
"I do love you! Why does everyone say that I don't! What else am I supposed to do for you to believe me!" Hard-pressed, Xu Lan stood up and begrudgingly bellowed.
"I can no longer tolerate being treated as a son and being given familial love. My heart is tired of wearing this mask, but I can't take it down. I can't keep deceiving others and myself, and you've never tried reversing our roles." The tearful Bai Wu looked directly at Xu Lan and sobbed while making that remark.
"F*ck, I've never seen anyone show their assh*le to their son! Would I let you f*ck me if I treated you as a son? Before all that, I was truly unable to differentiate my feelings, Bai Wu!"
Xu Lan erupted in shouts and pulled Bai Wu closer by grabbing his shirt collar.
"Bai Wu! Listen carefully! My feelings toward you are not those of father-and-son. I've never been in a relationship before, much less with a man! If don't know how to make you happy, what makes you think I know how to be in a relationship? You can teach me, though. Whatever you feel I should do, I will do my best to go in that direction. Is that okay?"
Bai Wu's tears were still flowing, and the tear mole at the corner of his eye had turned completely dark red. He nodded unconditionally amidst the choking emotions. Xu Lan's eyes were reddened by then. Pressing down on Bai Wu's head, Xu Lan gave him a sincere kiss. An amalgamation of unrestricted joy in Bai Wu's heart turned the tearful bitterness into sweetness. Bai Wu slowly pushed Xu Lan onto the sofa and kissed him lightly with added sincerity and passion.
"You should be closing your eyes now, Papa..." Bai Wu - whose fair complexion was covered in tear stains - kissed Xu Lan's eyelids while saying so.
Even though he was not able to see Bai Wu's excited and gradually reddening face, Xu Lan obediently closed his eyes. He wanted to change for the better so he could give Bai Wu that sense of security.
Bai Wu twirled Xu Lan's short hair and slowly traced his finger across Xu Lan's face. Despite the fact that Xu Lan was sleeping right beside him, he always felt unable to hold on to Xu Lan. It was as if at any moment, Xu Lan would leave him. However, everything had changed and it was all going to be okay. It was all because Xu Lan said he would change, and that gave Bai Wu some peace of mind.
"Xu Lan..." Bai Wu intimately kissed the tip of Xu Lan's hair and softly crooned.
"Hm?" Xu Lan struggled for a moment but he felt powerless to open his eyes, so he responded simply.
"Xu Lan, " Bai Wu called out once more.
"Mm, I'm here."
"Xu Lan!"
"F*ck! You, nghh..."
Since the cramped sofa was incredibly uncomfortable, Bai Wu wrapped Xu Lan's legs carefully around his waist before carrying the man into the bedroom. Along the way, there were countless tiny actions which startled Xu Lan, causing him to shout out loudly in his red-faced state.
| ← Ch. 219 | Ch. 221 → |