novelI am Disgusted by Her, I Hate Her, I Itch to Tear Her Apart
| ← Ch.146 | Ch.148 → |
Chapter 147: I am Disgusted by Her, I Hate Her, I Itch to Tear Her Apart
She originally did not have any good impression of Dai Huimin. She disliked her even more in her heart now.
Looking to the right and left, she did not discover Lu Weining's car. At this time, Lu Weining had already left. She, however, did not believe that Dai Huimin came here alone as warned by Yan Beicheng yesterday.
Lin Chu withdrew her gaze and said, "It's a busy street here, let's talk somewhere else."
Dai Huimin was extremely shocked; she did not expect that Lin Chu would be willing to talk to her as she thought that Lin Chu would ignore her.
Lin Chu did not bring her to a restaurant or a café, but rather, found an obscure corner by the skyscraper on the side.
"Madam Dai, what is your intention of looking for me?" Lin Chu asked indifferently. She did not show any hatred, yet she did not smile at all.
Dai Huimin's heart ached. Lin Chu's ordinary reaction was more difficult to bear than her scolding and shouting at her.
"I don't... don't have other intentions. I just want to visit you, " Dai Huimin replied with hesitation.
"And then?" Lin Chu asked calmly. Her vision gazed toward somewhere distant and she seemed to see a familiar Audi. Irony flashed across her eyes; she only then retracted her gaze, saying, "Now that you've seen me and then what?"
"No... I... I just want to see if you're doing okay, " said Dai Huimin in a small voice.
Lin Chu had not yet said anything but she started crying again.
Lin Chu said, composed, "You've seen that I'm doing well. If you've seen the news, you would probably know who I am dating. The biggest fortunes of my lifetime are encountering the Principal who took care of me when I was young and meeting Beicheng when I've grown up. I'm doing good now. The Yan family consider me as their family; they don't dislike my background at all. I regard the Principal as my biological grandmother. Beicheng, thus, attended to her needs as well. There's nothing to complain about my current life."
Dai Huimin's lips were moving as if they wanted to utter something. Lin Chu saw that she had not spoken for quite a while, then proceeded to say, "So, now that you've seen me as per what you wanted to. Is there anything else?"
"Do you... you hate me?" Dai Huimin looked at her ardently. She lifted both of her hands, seemingly wanted to hold Lin Chu's hand but did not dare to.
As Lin Chu witnessed all these, both of her hands hung down by the side of her legs and not moving, merely shifting behind seamlessly.
Looking at Dai Huimin in astonishment, she blinked her eyes as if she thought it was inconceivable, "Why do you think like this? I don't hate you."
Just when Dai Huimin's appeared pleasantly surprised, Lin Chu said gradually, "The Principal told me that I was in the orphanage since I was a baby. Since I was able to, I can only recall the life from the orphanage onwards. For me, you're just a stranger. Resentment is out of the question for strangers."
Dai Huimin suddenly stepped forward intensely, grasping on to Lin Chu's wrists. It was so sudden that Lin Chu did not manage to dodge.
With a change in her look, she wanted to fling Dai Huimin's hand but her grasp exceptionally strong.
At this moment, someone suddenly rushed out of nowhere and gripped Dai Huimin's wrist so hard until she yelped with pain and released Lin Chu's wrists.
Lin Chu's wrists were still aching. She lowered her head to find five, red finger marks on her wrists. Dai Huimin saw it as well and instantly apologized in guilt, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. I... it's all because of me... I'm too rough and I'm strong. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
She kept on repeating but she no longer dared to touch Lin Chu, feeling that she seemed to be made of porcelain. She did not dare to touch, afraid that she would break it.
Dai Huimin's wrists were released as well. It was only then she noticed the man who pulled Dai Huimin away. He was dressed inconspicuously in a shirt and jacket.
She heard him calling, "Ms. Lin."
Lin Chu was stunned for a moment and looked at him in surprise. She heard him explained, "My name is Huang Changxian. It was Master Yan who let me keep an eye on you because..."
The man shot a glance at Dai Huimin and said honestly, "Master Yan reckoned that Madam Dai will come looking for you in these few days. He didn't feel at ease, so he wanted me to protect you from afar. If anything happens, I'll make a move."
When he saw Lin Chu being blocked by Dai Huimin just now, he did not see Lin Chu having any intense reaction. Huang Changxian did not show himself immediately because he could not tell what attitude Lin Chu had and she seemed to want to have a conversation with Dai Huimin.
Only when Dai Huimin was grasping Lin Chu and she did not look happy, he instantly came out.
Lin Chu nodded. She did not think that it was a bad idea for Yan Beicheng to secretly arranged some people by her side. For instance, she was protected just in time when Dai Huimin held her hands. She, hence, did not feel unhappy or doubtful.
Having goosebumps from this would be regarded as unreasonable and contemptuous. Was it not troublesome if you still feel dissatisfied that the man was treating you well?
Lin Chu smiled at Huang Changxian and said, "I still some things to tell Madam Dai. It'll be done a while later."
Huang Changxian nodded and then moved further to a safe distance that he could not hear what they were talking about, but Lin Chu could still saw him. The distance implied that he would look after her on the side and Lin Chu would not be bullied. He was then seen fishing out his phone and making a phone call. Lin Chu pondered if he was calling Yan Beicheng.
Lin Chu did not think that Dai Huimin had the guts to do anything to her. Dai Huimin sobbed while saying, "Lin... Lin Chu, can I call you that? I know you hate me."
"I truly don't hate you." Lin Chu felt slightly odd why there was always someone unwilling to listen to other's explanations; they would not believe the truth no matter what, constantly thinking that the other party was lying.
Dai Huimin shook her head as if she still did not believe her, crying and saying, "I had no choice back in those days. At that time, I was only 17 years old and I had stopped studying earlier on and working outside. I met a man then we got together. After finding out that I was pregnant, I told that man and he seemed very happy and wanted me to give birth to the child. He said he would take care of both mother and child, and that he would marry me as soon as I turn adult age."
"When my stomach had gotten bigger and I was about to go into labor, the man ran off. Not even his shadow could be seen until now." Dai Huimin still felt the pain when she thought about the past. Rather than thinking about the man, she recalled the anger she felt from being deceived."He discovered his conscience and gave me a letter before he left, telling me the truth that he did not even have money to let me have an abortion in the hospital that's why he didn't let me abort the pregnancy. He really couldn't support me and the child, so he needed to go out and make money. He would return to look for us when he earned enough."
"He had lied to me once. How would I still believe his words? As expected, it had been more than 20 years and he never returned all along. After I gave birth to you, I absolutely cannot raise you. I was a waitress at a restaurant, working from early morning up to midnight. I didn't even have time to rest, let along raising a small baby. My financial situation didn't allow me to do so as well. You'd suffer if I had you with me. I... I..." She was also a child herself!
Dai Huimin was ashamed to utter those words.
"I could only leave you at the doorstep of the orphanage. I also had asked around beforehand that the people in the orphanage were all kind-hearted and wouldn't ignore you." Dai Huimin sniffled. The nasal mucus was thick inside her nose so she required arduous effort when she inhaled."I... I also feel bad. You're my biological daughter after all but I had no choice but to abandon you. I even detest my incompetence but with an orphan and widowed woman, I... it's my fault. I shouldn't make any excuses. You should hate me. I think about you every single day; I don't know how you're doing."
"Later on, I met my current husband and his name is Xu Dongguo. He's not someone with great skills but he's a chef in a small restaurant. When I met him, he was a kitchen apprentice. When we got married, we didn't have much money. We gradually saved enough to feed ourselves properly and we felt that we could raise a child in any case. Although I can't say how fine we'd raise her but it's unlikely to go so far as to let the child starve. We would save some and be frugal; we also wouldn't spare her education. We, thus, gave birth to a daughter who's your younger sister. She's four years younger than you; she's in her fourth year of university and she'll graduate soon."
Lin Chu started to get impatient from hearing her talking about all these. It was like listening to a stranger's family matters which were trivial and boring.
"I... I don't have other intentions. It's enough that I know you're living well. I just wanted to have a look at you, not because I want to receive any benefit from you knowing that you're getting by decently, " explained Dai Huimin genuinely.
She, however, still selfishly hoped that Lin Chu could call her 'mother' once. She said that it was enough to have a look at her but if so, was it not better that she looked at Lin Chu from far and did not distress her and call for her to let her know?
Wanting to know whether she was doing well or not, she would know that she was having a great life by getting the information from the news. Why did she have to come all the way here in a superfluous manner?
What were the odds that Lin Chu did not know what she was thinking in her mind? Her heart jeered coldly at Dai Huimin's selfish behavior. How would she be willing to get involved with her more?
"Now that you've seen me. Excuse me, I must leave as I've made an appointment with someone, " Lin Chu said indifferently, wanting to pass over her to leave.
Her wrists, in the end, were grabbed by Dai Huimin once again, but this time she controlled her strength and did not dare to exert too much force again like previously.
Lin Chu furrowed her eyebrows with irritation. She was about to shake her hand off, but she fell into an embrace that made her feel at ease in the next second.
At this moment, the afternoon sun was just right, feeling warm and cozy. When she was talking to Dai Huimin, she did not feel any sunlight; she merely felt cold yet she felt that every ray of sunlight was shining all over her body now. She could even smell a fresh, clean scent of pine as her cheeks pressed against the delicate fabric of the suit that permeated with a slight of comfortable coolness.
She already knew who had come without raising her head.
Lin Chu moved back from Yan Beicheng's embrace but still stood near to him. Her shoulders were wrapped by Yan Beicheng, being protected in his embrace and simply looking like a young child.
"Why are you here?" Lin Chu lifted her head. She looked at Yan Beicheng's chin first where the annoyance was hidden inside, making him look even more aloof.
Dai Huimin shuddered by surprise while she stood opposite them.
"Huang Changxian called me just now, telling me that Madam Dai has found you. So, I came here to have a look, " Yan Beicheng said.
Huang Changxian merely called him a few minutes ago. He came here so quickly. Who knew how worried he must be when he was rushing down the road.
Turning her head, she saw his black Jeep that was parked by the roadside. Shao Huai was not seen following him.
She then poked his ribs somewhat angrily, "Didn't I tell you that you're not allowed to drive quickly!"
Yan Beicheng instantly grasped her hand. He did not dare to admit, only said, "The road condition is pretty good today. There wasn't any traffic jam so I've arrived faster."
Since Lin Chu did not have a way to verify whether his statement was true or not, she could only purse her lips and groaned "Hmph" twice and ceased to dwell in that matter.
"Lin Chu, this person is... is..." Dai Huimin looked at Lin Chu with her eyes brimmed with tears and then looked at Yan Beicheng.
The way she gazed at Yan Beicheng completely looked like how she would stare at her son-in-law.
Lin Chu disliked her stare. She was not as tall as Yan Beicheng, so she could not block him from her sight.
Lin Chu could only say in a cold tone, "You said that you have no intention to acknowledge me and you don't expect me to do the same. You just wanted to see if I'm doing okay. Now that you've seen it, I'm doing very well, and I don't need you to compensate for anything. Since you've already seen me, can I leave now?"
Dai Huimin's lips trembled, calling her in a small voice with disbelief, "Lin Chu, you-"
"These are all your words that you told me just now, but you don't want to leave. What exactly do you want to do? Why don't you tell us honestly what you're thinking? Then we will resolve the matter."
"I'm not thinking about anything else, " Dai Huimin mumbled, "I just wanted to meet you."
"Madam Dai, let's not run around in circles anymore. Since you don't have any other intention and you've seen me now, can we leave already? Beicheng is very busy with his work but he came here purposely to fetch me, and he hasn't even had his lunch yet. Can we leave now?" said Lin Chu cold-heartedly.
As she felt that Yan Beicheng's palm on her shoulder was getting tighter, she knew that he was very worried about her.
Lin Chu turned her head and glanced at him. Her gaze was soft and gentle, letting him now that she was okay.
"This is how much you... hate me, right?" Dai Huimin said with her voice trembling, "Do you not believe that I am your mother?"
Lin Chu took a deep breath, suppressing her hot temper forcefully."Madam Dai, I'll repeat. I genuinely do not hate you. To me, you're merely a stranger. I don't even know who you are previously. Where will the hate derive from? If you abandon me after once I'm sensible, I would carry the memory of you with me and I may complain why did you abandon me. I, however, was still an infant who did not know anything when you abandoned me. This can be compared to giving your child away after giving birth to it; the child's memory will then only have her adoptive parents. I was like this too. I didn't suffer any hardship, so I truly don't hate you.
"You, however, are only a stranger to me. I can't acknowledge you. Both of us do not have any emotional foundation and you keep telling me that you're not trying to identify me but to just look at me. I've let you see how I am. You've also seen that I'm having a great life. Your guilt should be relieved at this moment. As for your saying that I don't believe that you're my mother, I don't have such doubt."
"It's not necessary for you to tell me such a lie that could be exposed easily. All we have to do is to do a DNA test but I'm not interested. You don't plan to acknowledge me and so do I. In that case, we'll still regard one other as strangers from now on as if we've never met each other. Our past, future and present lives won't be disrupted."
Seeing how Dai Huimin did not believe what she said and still insisted to speak, Lin Chu did not give her the opportunity."Please, believe me, what I've just said is stemmed from sincerity. I am very calm from the very beginning, unlike you who's excited. So how can you tell that I hate you? I hope you understand and believe that I don't despise you. Don't beat around the bush with me about this matter again and act like you don't understand no matter what I told you. I also hope that you are true to your words that you merely want to have a look at me to make sure that I'm doing well."
"I..."
Lin Chu lifted her hand to stop her from talking."I'm not saying that you want to take advantage of me. I'm just saying that since you mentioned that you won't disturb me, I wish that you can keep your promise from now on. Don't hold my hands for dear life when I'm leaving while saying that you just want to look at me."
Dai Huimin's lips moved hesitantly, feeling ashamed of what Lin Chu told her.
"I can't stop you from wanting to see me but I'm honestly unwilling to let you disrupt my life. I'm very satisfied with my current life and I don't want anyone to disturb it. Think about it, if you want to look, just watch secretly from a corner and don't let me know. I won't look for you and not allow you to look." She knew that Dai Huimin would do just that.
Judging from Dai Huimin's behavior today, she did not seem like she would be satisfied after finding her once and hence she had to be blunt in her words.
Dai Huimin nodded, disheartened. Her tears kept rolling down her cheeks.
The corner of Lin Chu's lips twitched slightly. Where did the abundance of tears come from?
When Lin Chu was telling Dai Huimin all these, Yan Beicheng did not interfere all long.
He always had a type of rapport with Lin Chu. Both never talked about it out loud but they seemed to be aware of it since the beginning.
He understood Lin Chu's temper, knowing Lin Chu would always want to deal with her matters, particularly on this matter, and would not want him to intervene too much.
Yan Beicheng, therefore, stood beside her silently, simply guarding Lin Chu against any misfortune. As for the rest, she wanted to resolve it herself. He then let go and drew a virtual frame. He would make a move once it was crossed over.
"Madam Dai, you said that I'm your daughter. Do you genuinely want what's good for me?"
Dai Huimin startled for a moment when she was asked by the sudden question. She blinked and nodded unknowingly."Of course, I've already let you down so much. How will I have the gall to do something to hurt you again?"
Lin Chu nodded, seemingly pleased with Dai Huimin's reply."If you want to treat me well, why did you listen to Lu Weining's words?"
"Ms. Lu?" Dai Huimin answered in astonishment.
Merely because of Lin Chu's one sentence, she had spilled about Lu Weining.
Dai Huimin was not a smart person. If she was, she would not be cheated and played by a man at that time.
She, therefore, still could not figure out Lu Weining's intention until now. She did not even realize that she let the details slip herself, thinking that it did not matter much even if Lu Weining was disclosed.
"It was Lu Weining who brought you, yes? She was also the one who told you that she could find me. The Principal didn't help you but she can help you, " Lin Chu said in a cool tone.
Dai Huimin's mouth opened and closed, "How do you... you know?"
Rather than answering her, the corner of Lin Chu's lips carried a blatant taunt."Do you know her previously?"
Dai Huimin shook her head honestly. Lin Chu slightly mocked, "Since you didn't know her formerly and met her for the first time, why did you trust her?"
"She said she can bring me to look for you." Dai Huimin answered hurriedly.
"Yes, she was the one who brought you here." Lin Chu pursed her lips as she looked at Dai Huimin with disappointment."This private matter is between you and me, but you trusted her and told her about my matters even though you don't know who she is, what sort of identity she has, what type of relationship she has with me. Have you ever wondered whether she would use this matter against me?"
"She told me that she's your friend, " said Dai Huimin.
"You believe what she said? You said that you want what's good for me, but you told a stranger about such personal matters easily. You're gullible enough to trust an outsider. You don't care about what will happen to me. The actual reason that you want to meet me is to simply seek for your comfort and delight. To be frank, you are selfish, just like how you felt that I was a burden to you and that you wanted to abandon me. You're still selfish all these years. You only think about yourself, that's why you don't bother to think more like whether it'll affect me adversely."
"If you don't understand, then I'll explain it clearly to you. Lu Weining is never my friend. I am disgusted by her, I hate her, I itch to tear her apart. I think she sees me this way as well. She longs for my man. She is shameless and she keeps pestering him. No matter how I've explained to her, or tell her off or even spurn her directly, she still does not give up. She merely heard about who you are, so she used you."
"You, on the contrary, absolutely didn't think about me and hung out with her just because you wanted to meet me, " Lin Chu said, smiling coldly.
| ← Ch. 146 | Ch. 148 → |