novelI Don't Want To See Her
| ← Ch.143 | Ch.145 → |
Chapter 144: I Don't Want To See Her
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Lin Chu became famous because of that news report. Even though Yan Beicheng had quickly suppressed the news before it got bigger, Lin Chu still ended up on Baidu. There was her birth year and month, but no specific date.
Even then, the middle-aged woman had spotted the same numbers and was overwhelmed by the discovery.
She took out another picture to show the old Principal, "This was my picture when I was younger. It looks like... looks like her, which is why I was thinking, could she be my daughter?"
She had been here twice before. Once was on the night of the eve of Lunar New Year. It was dark then, and difficult to see one another.
That night, Lin Chu was carrying Chu Xi back and had bumped into her at the entrance. As the lights were too dark, she could not see clearly.
The second time was on the afternoon of Yan Ningbai's birthday. Lin Chu and Yan Beicheng had walked out and saw her at the entrance.
It was then that she saw Lin Chu's face clearly. Lin Chu had such a beautiful face and was charismatic, even her clothes looked good on her. Yan Beicheng was by her side, looking dashing and handsome. He had a clean, upright temperament about him.
She instantly felt inferior and could not lift her head in front of these two outstanding people. She wished desperately for the earth to swallow her up.
Even though she could not be totally sure that Lin Chu was her daughter, but it was too much of a coincidence. She looked so much like her when she was younger. In her heart, she had already thought of Lin Chu as the daughter she had abandoned.
The moment she remembered what she did to Lin Chu, she could not face her and hurriedly made her escape.
"I've been back here twice, but I've never dared to press the doorbell, " the middle-aged woman cried saying. There was nowhere for her hands to hold on to, so she grabbed tightly on the entrance's metal gate.
"Principal, can you tell me, is it her? Is it her?" The middle-aged woman looked at the old Principal, her eyes full of hope.
The old Principal frowned slightly. She did not know this woman at all. The old Principal's first impression of this woman was not that great because she had the heart to abandon Lin Chu in the first place.
Besides, this middle-aged woman might claim to not want anything from Lin Chu and would only like to see her from afar, but who would know what she was really thinking?
The old Principal might be a kind soul, but she did not entirely keep her guard down. Not everyone who came by was good people.
How good could someone be if they chose to forsake their child?
The old Principal continued thinking that Lin Chu had finally earned a good life with the two Yan family elders doting on her and Yan Beicheng loving her.
The old Principal was not about to allow some unknown woman to barge into Lin Chu's peaceful life and create chaos.
Besides, Jiang Changdai and her daughter, in addition to Lu Weining, were all after her.
"I'm not sure either. I can't remember Lin Chu's birthday. I would need to go back and check my files. How about this, why don't you leave me your contact number? Once I've double-checked my files, I'll get in touch with you, " said the old Principal.
The middle-aged woman knew that the old Principal was giving an excuse to push her away. She could not help herself but grabbed on to the old Principal's arms and cried, "Principal, please believe me. I don't want anything from her. Even if it was not Lin Chu and it was another girl, so long as it's my daughter, I'm satisfied."
"No matter who it is, she will only be my daughter in my eyes, nothing else. It's okay even if she doesn't know my identity. I'd just like to say a few words to her and find out how was her life. I won't disrupt her current life. No matter how her life is, it will stay that way. I have no right to acknowledge her, no right at all."
"I... I'm unworthy..." The middle-aged woman cried quietly.
The old Principal was not convinced, "Don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to lie to you. I really can't remember and do need to check the files. I'll contact you once I've checked them."
All she needed was to insist that she could not remember. The middle-aged woman would have no choice but to give in.
"Don't worry about it, " the old Principal said again.
There was nothing much the middle-aged woman could do. She could only give the old Principal her number.
The old Principal did not plan on inviting her into the orphanage. The middle-aged woman lowered her gaze sadly. She knew that the old Principal did not welcome her.
It was right of her to do so. She had heartlessly thrown her child away. Now that she thought back about it, she felt shameful and filled with guilt.
She really did just want to see her child. She did not want anything from her. She was well-aware that she had no right.
"I'll... I'll get going then. Sorry to disturb you, " said the middle-aged woman.
The old Principal nodded her head politely and closed the gate before going back in.
The middle-aged woman turned listlessly. She had forgotten which direction she came from and was just wandering about.
"Hello, " someone suddenly blocked the way in front of her.
She lowered her head and saw a pair of shoes. It was printed with intricate flower laces and looked pretty. It was different from the loafers she had been wearing for the past few years.
She heard the voice of a young woman, clear, crisp and melodious, but it was not Lin Chu's voice.
Even though she had only seen her twice and both meetings had ended up with her escaping in a hurry, Lin Chu's voice was imprinted deeply in her heart.
Lin Chu's voice was gentle and soothing to the ear, it was a nice, comfortable voice which made one wanted to be close to her.
The voice she was hearing now also sounded nice but had a tinge of arrogance in it. One could not help but feel the need to distance themselves and not get too near.
She took a few steps back instinctively and looked up. There was a young, pretty lady standing in front of her. She looked elegant.
Lu Weining had not expected to gain this much today.
She wanted to come over and look after failing to threaten the orphanage and to look around to find out if there were some other way to go about it. She had noticed the middle-aged woman ringing the orphanage doorbell the moment she parked her car.
Not long after, she saw the old Principal walked out. After a few words, the woman started crying.
Lu Weining frowned. She was curious about it. There might be an opportunity to get something on the old Principal. So, she quietly got out of the car to eavesdrop on them.
The sudden revelation from the old Principal about this being Lin Chu's mother had shocked her. The middle-aged woman was so focused on Lin Chu and being worried about angering the old Principal that she had not noticed Lu Weining hiding at the side.
After the old Principal and the middle-aged woman had finished their conversation and left respectively, the middle-aged woman, who was lowering her head, got stopped by Lu Weining.
Lu Weining took out a name card from her purse and passed it to the middle-aged woman."My name is Lu Weining. I was here to meet the old Principal, but I accidentally overheard your conversation."
The look on the middle-aged woman's face changed. It was difficult to tell if she was unhappy or embarrassed. She kept quiet.
Lu Weining quickly said, "I'm sorry. I didn't intentionally eavesdrop. I've nothing against you, it's just that I've heard you mention Lin Chu..."
The middle-aged woman said in surprise, "You know Lin Chu?"
Lu Weining nodded, and the middle-aged woman continued hesitantly, "Are you... Are you familiar with the orphanage?"
Lu Weining nodded as she smiled."I'm very familiar with Lin Chu and Beicheng. I'm also quite familiar with the orphanage."
She was indeed familiar with them though they did not have good relations.
Lu Weining was not lying; she was just omitting certain facts from the middle-aged woman.
"I overheard the old Principal's words, it seems like she wasn't planning to let you meet Lin Chu, not even secretly. However, that would be understandable. After all, she does not know you. She might be wary of you even if you claimed on not planning to acknowledge your daughter; but now that you know who Lin Chu is, you might want to take advantage, " Lu Weining said.
"I'm not..." The middle-aged woman was agitated and cried again.
Lu Weining did not want to create a scene with her on the streets. It was unseemly. Besides, by the looks of this middle-aged woman, she did not seem to be a smart person.
Lu Weining had a sudden thought. She maintained the friendly smile on her face and interrupted the middle-aged woman, "Why don't we find somewhere to sit down and talk about it? It's not appropriate to discuss this openly on the streets."
The middle-aged woman was still sobbing but stopped at her words. She quickly nodded, "Yes, you're right."
"My car is parked right there, " Lu Weining pointed to the Audi sportscar she had parked at the roadside.
Judging by Lu Weining's traits and dress, the middle-aged woman had guessed that she was rich. Now that she saw her car, she did not think twice about it.
It was not strange as Lin Chu and Yan Beicheng's friends must be rich.
Lu Weining brought the middle-aged woman to a private club and got herself a private room. She was very careful about it.
It was the first time the middle-aged woman had been to such a high-class place. She kept looking around but did not express any look of greed.
When they entered the private room, the middle-aged woman sized up the luxurious room and followed Lu Weining to a big, round table.
The room was huge, and so was the table. The middle-aged woman estimated that this big table could seat twenty to thirty people. This was not just a place for dining, there was an area next to them that was much like a living room. There was a sofa, a coffee table, and a television. Everything was well prepared.
In all her life, the middle-aged woman had never seen somewhere so high-end.
Lu Weining pointed to a chair, "Please take a seat."
The middle-aged woman nodded. She was a little hesitant. Her hands tried to smoothen as much of her clothes as possible before taking a sit. Lu Weining sat next to her.
"This is one of the private clubs in our company. Normally we would meet clients here to discuss business, " said Lu Weining.
To put it plainly, this was where some old presidents would dine with celebrities under her company. This facility was provided by Xing Chuang. It was better to use a place of their own.
Some of the celebrities under their company did not mind these unspoken rules and wanted the short cut up the ladder. This was a good place to do so as it belonged to Xing Chuang. No one would be spouting nonsense out there.
Xing Chuang did not mind their celebrities taking this unorthodox route. So long they were willing, Xing Chuang would not force anything on them. These celebrities would still find a way to do so in private anyway. Rather than letting them create trouble out there on their own and stirring up negative publicity, it would be much better if Xing Chuang was able to keep it under their control.
"Are you... Are you a good friend of Lin Chu?" The middle-aged woman asked.
Lu Weining gave it a thought, "How should I put it? I'm on very good terms with Beicheng's mum and sister. That's how I got to know Lin Chu. We aren't considered good friends, but we do know each other."
The middle-aged woman nodded and suddenly remembered something. She said in embarrassment, "I've forgetting to introduce myself. My name is Dai Huimin."
"How do you do, Auntie?" Lu Weining called out magnanimously.
Dai Humin hesitated as she saw Lu Weining poured tea for her. She quickly held on to the cup as she kept thanking her, and asked again, "Can you... Help me meet Lin Chu?"
Lu Weining lowered her gaze and pretended to give it a thought before she said, "I won't lie to you. I have the same worry as the old Principal. Do you really just want to see her and have no other intentions? You do know that Lin Chu's status is different now. She is with Yan Beicheng and is someone who belongs to the upper social circle. I'm afraid she would not hope to... To have any changes to that."
"To be honest, your background would be just a burden to her. It's still fine that she is but an orphan right now. But is someone finds out..." Lu Weining paused.
"I do apologize for being so direct. Judging by your clothes, I'm guessing that you don't live a luxurious life."
Dai Huimin nodded in embarrassment.
"This is my worry. Even if we don't consider the fact that you had abandoned her, she is now in a good relationship and might not want anything to jeopardize it. She might not want to see you, " Lu Weining sounded sincere as she said it while holding up her cup to take a sip of tea.
Through the rising wisps of heat coming from the cup of tea, she saw the tears fall from Dai Humin's face.
"I have no other intention; it doesn't matter if she does not know I'm her mother. When you next meet her, please bring me along. I don't mind you telling her that I'm your maid. I just want to take a close look at her and have a short chat with her. Miss Lu, please believe me. I don't have the right to acknowledge her. I was the one who had abandoned her heartlessly. All these years, I've been thinking about the way she looked like when she was just a baby. I have never done anything for her and have no right to acknowledge her. I won't bring her any trouble or cause her any embarrassment. I beg of you, please believe me, " Dai Humin said as she wiped away her tears.
Lu Weining pretended to hesitate before clenching her teeth to say, "Well.... Okay then. I will help you just this once. But I treat Lin Chu as a friend. If you meet her this way, she's going to be unhappy and might hate me as well. Therefore, I can't personally introduce you to Lin Chu."
"Then..." Dai Huimin got anxious.
Lu Weining poured herself another cup of tea before she continued, "Don't be so worried first. Listen to me. I can bring you to where Lin Chu works. Beicheng will pick her up from work there every night, so it won't be appropriate for you to go there at that time. As for the weekends, they would be together. I think Lin Chu would not want Beicheng to know that you exist."
She did not continue but Dai Humin understood what she meant.
Lin Chu must think she was an embarrassment.
But Dai Huimin had owed Lin Chu a lot. She felt that it was only right that Lin Chu felt that way, so she did not feel angry about it.
"We can only be there in the afternoon. It's not convenient for me to show myself. I'll take you to the entrance of Lin Chu's office. After that, whatever you decide to do will be up to you, " said Lu Weining.
Dai Humin quickly nodded, "It's good enough for me."
...
On the other side of things, the old Principal did not hide the matter from Lin Chu.
No matter what, this was Lin Chu's affair. Lin Chu should be the one to make the final decision, she had no right to make any decision on her behalf.
She gave it some thought and decided to call Lin Chu.
At that moment, Lin Chu and Yan Beicheng were on their way to the old mansion.
Lin Chu's phone rang. At the same time, so did Yan Beicheng's phone.
Yan Beicheng looked at her phone. Lin Chu could not help but laughed.
Yan Beicheng's lips curved upwards. He made a turn on the steering wheel and stopped by the roadside.
Lin Chu picked up the phone and Yan Beicheng took his out. He looked at it. It was a call from the person he had sent to stake out the orphanage entrance.
After Yan Ningbai's birthday the other day, they had bumped into that middle-aged woman. Lin Chu had mentioned that she had been there before. During Yan Ningbai's birthday, she had come by quietly.
Even though he felt the woman would not cause any trouble, but she still looked suspicious. Yan Beicheng decided to have someone keep watch at the orphanage and if she appeared again, to immediately investigate her.
After that, the woman did not appear again. Even Yan Beicheng had forgotten about her existence.
Now that he suddenly received a call from the person he sent, Yan Beicheng's expression turned grim.
When Lin Chu answered her call, he came out of his car.
He was not worried about Lin Chu listening in. This was an investigation made on behalf of Lin Chu after all. But there was limited space in the car, and it would not be convenient for two people to be on the phone at the same time.
"Hello, " Yan Beicheng stood next to the car and answered with his deep, clear voice.
In the car, Lin Chu was in a daze after listening to the old Principal. She did not know what to feel. Her mind was blank.
From the moment she could remember, she had always been in the orphanage. The old principal had told her before that she had been living in the orphanage since she was a baby.
When the old Principal found her, she was wrapped in a little blanket and was left lying at the gates of the orphanage. Luckily it was the autumn season. The weather was cooling, which was why she did not get sick even though she was only wrapped in a blanket outside.
This meant that her mother had abandoned her the moment she was born.
Later, there were many news reports of young girls, who had yet to be exposed to society, getting into trouble for the sake of a moment of fun. They got pregnant and gave birth but did not have the means to keep the baby. They were also afraid of being reprimanded by their family, so they decided to run away from their responsibility and got rid of their children.
Lin Chu had always thought that she could be the result of the same situation.
She did not harbor any hate for the birth mother she had never met before. But she was no saint. All she felt was that this was a stranger who had no relations to her. It did not matter if she was abandoned by her. She had grown up in the orphanage. Besides not having any parents, she was just like any normal child.
If she had never met her mother before, why should she spend time thinking about her?
She felt nothing for this so-called mother. No hate, no longing. Nothing.
She never thought about seeing her at all.
But now, her mother came looking for her.
It was not just a few years apart; it was 25 years.
"I didn't promise her nor told her anything. She suspects it is you. All I said was that I didn't have a good memory and needed to check the files first. It's an excuse and she's aware of that. Otherwise, she wouldn't have held on to me and cried. Hence I've decided to tell you about this. You should make your own decision. If you'd like to meet her, then you should. If you don't, I'll help you to dodge this, " the old Principal said.
Lin Chu did not even hesitate and said gently but determinedly, "I don't want to see her. There's no reason for me to do so. I don't feel anything for her. I've never known her since young. If not for the news report, she wouldn't even be aware of me. She didn't come looking for me before but chose this time to see me. Even if she did meet me, I can't be filial to her and treat her like a mother, I can't even treat her as an elder I can respect. I don't feel comfortable about it. Regardless if she was sincere or faking it, I can't pretend that nothing happened between us. I might not even be able to give her a normal smile. We might as well not meet and pretend that nothing ever happened. We should live our lives separately and continue our lives as it is."
| ← Ch. 143 | Ch. 145 → |