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The attic's door was too thin and old to block that noise. Rubica laid down on her bed and covered her ears with the blanket. Her anger didn't go away.
'Shit, shit!'
She punched her pillow.
If her mother had been alive, even on her sickbed, such a thing would have never happened. The current Mrs. Berner was right. She had been the daughter of a graceful and noble count's family. It was actually a little hard for a baronet's daughter to get married to a duke, but it wasn't that impossible as Rubica had the blood of a count's family that was a branch of the imperial family.
However, if her mother had been alive, she would have never ignored Rubica's opinion and gone on with such senseless wedding...
'The duke will come tomorrow evening with a special permission certificate. '
She suddenly recalled what her uncle had said. She abruptly got up.
"... special permission."
It had been such a long time that she hadn't been able to remember what it was right away. For her, it was like recalling the memories from 60 years ago. It had nothing to do with the Berner Family that had only a baronet title, but Rubica's mother had sometimes told her about it. When a man of the rank viscount or higher who had a domain, or his heir was getting married, he had to get permission from the king.
Aristocrats normally called this 'special permission'. Rubica's mother would stroke her hair with affection and say so.
"Special permission means His Majesty is permitting and ordering the marriage. If you break up the marriage after being given the permission without a good reason, it would be defying the king."
There would be nothing she could do after getting the permission certificate. She would have to get married. Rubica laughed at the duke's scheme. Had he thought every woman in the world would, of course, say yes to his proposal.
As Mrs. Berner had said, Rubica had never dreamt of a man coming to her with flowers and kneeling down in front of her to propose. But she thought a man who wanted to get married had to at least ask the woman's opinion. However, Duke Claymore hadn't asked her opinion. If he had asked, Rubica would still have refused him in an instant.
'Why me? What can he get by marrying a poor woman without any dowry?'
Did he want something else other than money?
However, no matter how hard she thought, she couldn't think of anything. She wasn't extremely beautiful, and it wasn't like she had some kind of special skill.
On the other hand, Duke Claymore was one of the richest people in the continent and was smart enough to graduate from Aron's Academy at the top of the class. Moreover, rumors said he was extremely handsome, too.
Rubica didn't know why he had proposed to her. What was important was that she would rather die than to get married to him. No, she couldn't die.
'Arman, I want to meet you. '
Rubica recalled the man who had always helped her by her side with a smile. In her memories, he was an old man, but her heart started beating fast just by thinking about him. Even though she hadn't married him and hadn't even told him about her feelings, she was his woman.
To get married to another man when she had Arman in her heart... and that man was going to make Arman lose his eyes. Rubica made up her mind and took out an old leather bag out of her closet.
"I must run away."
The obedient Rubica of the past would have walked to the aisle like a cow being dragged to the slaughterhouse. However, even though the war hadn't been able to damage her kind heart, it had given her all kinds of sufferings instead. It had taught her that she could run away when she encountered something she couldn't handle.
The Berners' reputation would fall down if she ran, but....
'Everyone will forget about this when the war breaks out after 4 years. '
The count's family, the family of her late mother, would care to some extent, but the Berner Family was a merchants' family anyway.
Rubica didn't want to give up her life for dignity and reputation. However, she didn't want to die, either. She had a goal.
'I should hide at a good place and go to the abbey when the war breaks out. '
And she was going to help people there and wait for Arman. If she could meet Arman again, she was ready to gladly embrace any kind of pain and grief.
She was not going to hesitate and feel ashamed again. She was going to tell Arman that she loved him. She felt the ring hidden in her clothes and promised herself.
She found things worth some money in her closet and drawers then put them in the bag. However, there were not many decent things as her aunt had taken most of the good things.
'But these will be enough to travel for about two weeks. '
She even made her mind to take an expensive pair of gloves that her mother had left her and put them in the bag.
"Knock, knock."
Someone suddenly knocked on the door. She stopped packing. It was lunchtime. Was it a maid calling her? However, she wasn't in a good mood at all and didn't want to eat anything.
"No, " she answered shortly. Then, it got silent for a second.
However, the person soon started to pound on the door so loudly that Rubica couldn't finish packing.
"Rubica! Rubica!"
The voice was Angela's. She was breathing heavily. Rubica quickly hid the bag under the bed and slightly opened the door. She was going to calm Angela down and make her leave, but she came in before Rubica could say anything.
"I heard a man proposed to you!"
Angela's dress was crumpled here and there, but she didn't care. Her face was red, and she was huffing. Rubica wasn't going to marry the duke, but it was true. He had proposed to her. She nodded, and Angela's eyes got even bigger.
She had heard the fact, but she really didn't want to accept it. She went around Rubica's room anxiously and yelled, "But you don't have any dowry! You said you spent all the money to heal that sick woman you called your mother!"
Actually, Mrs. Berner wasn't from Seritos. She was from the faraway Sarman. Ladies of the neighborhood would scold her when she acted as if she was still in Sarman. She would protest about it to her husband, but he was always way too optimistic. He said it would get fine in time.
However, it didn't. So, she branded them as 'mean women' and gave up trying to get along with them. That was all fine, but the problem was that she didn't educate her daughter properly, saying there was no need to follow Seritos' rules.
Angela, the princess who acted as she liked. Rubica didn't mind her being hard on herself, but she couldn't let her talk about her late mother like that. She frowned hard to Angela.
"Angela, stop talking like that about my mother."
"I don't want to!" Angela stomped her feet and yelled again, "She spent all your dowry! I can never speak good of her."
"Angela! I wanted to spend all my dowry for my mother! And please, call her aunt!"
"No! My family is the one who is with you and protecting you! How long are you going to keep missing your dead mother? I am your family! I am your sister!"
Tears started to swell up in her eyes. Blue eyes just like her mothers. She was upset at hearing Rubica's accusation. Rubica was dumbfounded at such an attitude, but at the same time, she felt like she was looking into something she hadn't realized before.
'How long are you going to miss your dead mother?'
... had I?
She certainly hadn't been on the right mind after her mother's death. That was why she trusted her uncle and his wife so easily. And when she realized she had been betrayed, she stared at her mother's portrait and shed tears in grief every night.
Ironically, she came to her senses only after everything had been destroyed, when the bad protector, Mr. Berner, was better than nothing.
'How could I not miss my late mother? No one in this mansion was kind to me. '
Rubica looked at Angela, her face wet with tears. However, Rubica wasn't angry at her. She pitied her.
Angela was like a cute girl. Her parents were fond of her, but they never had her get an education. On the other hand, they didn't hesitate to send money to Isaac who was at the academy. They were always delighted to see Isaac's good grades every year and sent him more money.
-Isaac will get at least the baron title, even if he fails to get a degree at the academy.
-Then, Angela, men will line up to propose you.
However, unfortunately, Isaac was going to die in two years in a quarrel at a gambling house. His body was dark purple because of the illegal drugs he had enjoyed until then.
'... all his grades were fake. The money he had said he needed for experiments and books were lies to get money to hang out. '
Rubica couldn't be harsh, it was just not her nature. To think how much her aunt and Angela despaired at the news they were about to receive, she couldn't be harsh on Angela.
She smiled kindly instead.
"When did I say you were not my sister? Angela, are you going to do nothing if someone says bad things about your mother?"
"Um, no."
"And would you not save money to heal your mother if she gets sick? Wouldn't you sell the stockings you are wearing now to get her medicine?"
Angela thought about this for some time. Then, she sheepishly whispered, "... I would."
"That is what I did, Angela."
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