novelI Dont Trust Myself (Part Two)
| ← Ch.0364 | Ch.0366 → |
"Okay. Let's get down to business. You are curious why I seem so distant to my parents, aren't you?" What had been going on with him and Jessica was a long story, which was too complicated to be finished within just a few sentences. Edward didn't plan to cut the long story short, so he took Daisy into the car and sat down before they talked. He had decided a long time ago he wouldn't tell anyone about the pain and sorrow during his childhood, because it hurt him to repeat it over and over again; but if Daisy wanted to know, he wouldn't keep it a secret from her. He wanted her to know everything about him - his good, bad or even desperate self. The other reason he decided to reopen his wound was because what he had been through when he was little played an important part in his life.
"Yes, I am." Wrapping her arms around his neck, Daisy nodded firmly. However, all of a sudden, she noticed that Edward's face changed; he looked sad. Daisy got frightened and nervous. Her instincts told her that she should stop right there, but deep down, another voice was whispering, pushing her to go after the answer she wanted the whole time. Gazing at his face, Daisy wondered whether she was too heartless to him; she forced him to reopen his wound and watched him bleed just because she wanted some answers.
"Everyone thinks I'm successful and I have everything I want within my reach. But the truth is, my parents weren't really a mother and father to me. I'm the child that they have never liked. I have always been like an invisible member in my family for all these years." Edward forced a weak smile as he started to speak. After the bitter opening, he pursed his thin lips and remained silent for a short while, trying to hold back his emotions; then he continued, "I had to live abroad, alone, by myself, when other kids could still hug their parents and ask for what they wanted, candies, new bikes, love and attention. And I had to learn how to run the business and even take over the company when other kids were still l y because deep down he felt insecure.
"Yes, I trust you. I just don't trust myself." Daisy was frightened. She didn't mean to hurt Edward in the first place. But look at what she had done! Although Edward said those words in a cheerful tone, Daisy knew he was bleeding inside. And it hurt her ten times to see him in agony.
"Don't you want to know my past? Don't you want to know why I turned to a playboy? Yes, you do. Deep down, you still want the answer. We're the same type of people. No matter how much we want to know what the other think about us, we run away simply because we're too scared to hear something we couldn't accept. In the end, nothing solved, and everything just repeats itself again and again. We'll still doubt and quarrel and eventually get hurt, because neither of us really knows what happened. So, are you sure you don't want to listen anymore?"
Edward knew Daisy stopped him because she didn't want to see him stir things up by showing her his bleeding wounds. But he owed her an explanation, something he should have given her long time ago. Edward knew what happened today would probably happen again in the future, so he'd better tell her everything now once and for all. Edward almost broke down and lost his mind when they had a fight before. It was too painful, and he didn't want to go through it again, ever.
| ← Ch. 0364 | Ch. 0366 → |