novelA Goddess & A Devil
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704 A Goddess & A Devil
This time, she didn't have to see the same mirror room. This time she was standing in a very familiar place. It was so familiar that it even made her heart feel at ease. The place she stood at was the cemetery she first opened her eyes as Bai Xiu.
The image of Destiny's soul had changed. Now, she looked exactly how even Xiu remembered it. The young rebellious teenager that tried to play the adult's game but ended up falling all on her own.
'This is where I took my last breath. '
Xiu's heart shook violently."Did you kill yourself?"
Destiny looked up at Xiu and smiled as she shook her head, 'No. I just made a wish. I just wished that somehow someone saves my mother and I'd be willing to exchange my own life to atone for my crime. '
"It wasn't your fault, " Xiu couldn't help speaking up. She could feel Destiny's pain right now. Her every emotion was piercing her heart as well. How could she not know it wasn't her fault?
Destiny sat down beside Carina Novell's gravestone and looked towards the sky as she said, 'It wasn't your fault either. Why did you think of taking your own life? You didn't do anything wrong then why did the one to die was you?'
Xiu chuckled self-deprecatingly."I was just tired of living between sanctimonious hypocrites. Death to me was just a door to freedom. But no one knows how many times I had to kill myself before reaching that door."
'Do you know there is something very common between us?'
Xiu quirked up her brow inquisitively, "What?"
'We both ran after the wrong things in life. You ran after love and acceptance, I continued to chase the revenge. '
Xiu laughed out but rather sadly before she looked at Destiny and asked, "What happened? How did you die here?"
Destiny looked lost as she continued...
Back then, even knowing about Xin Suyin didn't enrage Destiny. That vigorous fire in her seemed to have died down in the river that Zhao Huan fell into. For the first time in years, she took off her disguise out of school and continued to visit the hospital.
However, ?? she never dared going inside the hospital. She was scared of hearing something she wouldn't be able to take. So, ? she continued to linger outside the hospital. No matter how the weather changed she didn't move. Just like that, ? she spent two weeks around the hospital. Lack of food, lack of sleep made her condition worse but she never cared about it.
She didn't know why she suddenly thought of going to the cemetery but she did. Since the time Carina Novell was buried there, ? she had only come here a handful of times. This time she came and sat down beside her gravestone as she asked, "Why didn't you tell me the truth? Why did you hide it for so long? None of this would have happened if you had told me the truth. But I can't even hate you because you gave me the love I needed for all those years."
She sobbed uncontrollably as she went on, "I wish someone could fix it all. I can't see her dying. I can't! I don't want her to hate me either. But I don't deserve love. I really don't deserve it!"
She knew she was burning with fever. She was exhausted, ?? hungry, ? had a high fever. But she still didn't move, neither could she. Her body had been drained of all energy. Even keeping her eyes open was a huge task for her now.
Placing her head against the gravestone she slowly closed her eyes and said in a hoarse voice, ?? "I took an angel's name, ? and yet I stayed a devil. If sister Xiu had been in my place, ? she'd have never thought of hurting someone. Perhaps, that idiot would have even gotten hurt herself but she'd never hurt anyone." She looked at the sky which had darkened long ago. There was a chill in the air and she could clearly see the clouds slowly engulfing the whole sky."I think Chen Xiu would have had a way to fix it. She wouldn't be a coward like me who can't even accept her wrongdoings. My mother really needs a daughter like her. I'd just be disappointment to her."
Xiu looked engrossed in her own thoughts as she said, ? "No wonder I had a high fever when I woke up. You died because of exhaustion and high fever." Seeing the serene look on the other's face, Xiu was baffled, "How can you be so calm? Isn't this an unjust death? You could have tried harder. Zhao Huan or even Xin Zemin would have never blamed you for anything."
'I didn't want to bring any more suffering into their lives, ' came the reply.
Xiu snorted, "You really thought I'd be able to fix everything if I were you." Destiny nodded her head without any hesitation."You've lost your mind! I was also just a human who couldn't even fix anything in her own life. I never even asked for this second chance!"
'It's Heaven's will that you got here, ' said Destiny. 'I was also merely a human. How could I change your destiny just because my name was Destiny? I'm more willing to believe that it's because Goddess Xiu is a real Goddess. It's just that a Goddess like you and a devil-like me ended up taking our last breaths at the very same time. '
Xiu felt like her head was about to burst open. She finally knew how Destiny died and it left her unsettled because she couldn't even go and get revenge. This foolish girl died because of her own foolishness. If you're sick, go to the hospital! Why leave the hospital and come to the cemetery to die!!!
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