novelNo Condemnation
| ← Ch.553 | Ch.555 → |
LERRIN
He'd been careful to keep his mind guarded. He hadn't sent her the memory. But something must have passed over his face, because her brows pinched together."Don't condemn Reth for being the same kind of male that you are, Lerrin. He helps me when I ask because he cares... he isn't... there's no... motive."
He grimaced and she misread his intention.
"Do not condemn me either, Lerrin, " she whispered, an edge in her tone."Not when I ask less of him than I asked of you... and you gave it to me, despite not knowing me at all."
His head spun. She always did this—always turned him around, made him see a piece of the landscape that he hadn't noticed before. He swallowed, tried to figure out how to tell her this, but she obviously thought he would argue with her.
"Lerrin, please! You must see—"
Suhle, he sent. But she wouldn't stop.
"—you are all strong, you all have honor."
Suhle.
"You all do things that honor others. It is your way! He is not wrong to do this—you do it also!"
"Suhle, " he croaked and she gasped. They eyes locked and he sent to her. You always show me things.. differently. A new way to see the world. A new way to understand my life. Myself.
Her forehead crumpled and she stroked his cheek again."No, Lerrin, " she whispered."I show you your own heart. The rest is... is what you do with it."
Fuck, those words. Her faith in him. Her utter belief in his goodness.
He groaned again, this time in horror at himself, at the way he'd refused her, held her apart. At his own stupid, stubborn pride.
I love you, Suhle, he sent and if his voice sounded shaky and a little emotional, well... so was he.
"Oh, Lerrin, I love you. So much. So much..." She lowered herself to the floor next to him, holding his face, whispering her love and smiling brilliantly. It was as if the sun had risen in the room, that smile. It made him want to breathe deeply and smile.
If only his cursed, broken body would let him do more than flutter his eyelids.
But as usual, Suhle did the loving for both of them.
While he lay there, healing—or trying to—she put her hand to the one spot—where his neck met his shoulder—that wasn't bruised or bleeding so they were skin to skin. Then she opened her mind and flooded him with everything he'd ever been to her. All the ways her heart sang for touching him. All the parts of her that came alive when he told her he loved her.
It was... overwhelming. Lerrin swallowed the pinch in his throat over and over again as she drowned him in love and adoration, in the certainty of her heart for him... and in the bond, sparkling and new, living again, that connected them at the soul.
"You will heal, " she murmured."I will see to you. I will help you. And we'll make sure you're safe." He noticed she didn't raise Reth's name again."Then... then we'll figure it out. Somehow. Somehow, Lerrin. You are mine. I will not leave you. Even if I have to move into this stinking tree with you."
She sent him an image then, the two of them tangled on the floor, under the thin blanket he'd been given, and even in his pain, his body throbbed with that picture, coming as it did with the sensation of the warmth they created for each other, her soft skin, the scent of her desire for him, and the flush of sleep and love-warmed cheeks.
There were so many things Lerrin wished he could give her just then. So many ways he wished he could show her who she was to him. And so many new things to fear. But there was only one that he knew was important. That she needed to hear in exactly that moment.
He swallowed and held her tear-shining eyes.
I do not deny you, Suhle. I'm sorry that I ever said I would. I have never denied you in my heart. Only... only in my pride. Thank you for remaining faithful when I was not. Thank you for loving me when I did not. I'm sorry. I wish I could show you how deeply sorry I am.
She sobbed with relief and leaned closer, pressing her forehead against his, her hand still on his neck.
"I love you, Lerrin, " she whispered."So much."
I love you too, Suhle. With everything I am.
"I will get you out of here, Lerrin. I vow it."
Even if we can't... I will never deny you again, you beautiful creature, he said, and the words opened something in his heart that had been knotted and dark since the moment he'd found out that she knew Reth. Loved him, in her way.
As if she felt him break loose, her tears surged again, but she was being so careful not to hurt him, that she could only shift closer until their legs almost touched, and their bodies warmed each other.
"I will help you, Lerrin. You are not alone. You will never be alone again."
He had to close his eyes then, because, as she always did, she had once again cut right to the core of who he was, and what he feared. And, as she always had, she placed her own, healing heart over his to make him stronger.
If he could have shaken his head, he would have, to let her see his disbelief about her goodness.
I don't deserve you, he sent.
That isn't—
No, Suhle, listen, he sent with what Alpha power he could muster when he felt so broken and weak. I am... not as good as you. I am so grateful you see good in me, that you don't give up. But be certain of it, I do not have your heart. I admire your heart, and if I am ever free enough to do so, I will protect it. But I have not earned it. You are a gift from the Creator to my soul.
I will never deny you again. I vow it. Do you hear me? I give you my word, Suhle. I will never deny you again.
He wished he could hold her while she cried.
| ← Ch. 553 | Ch. 555 → |